..I'd be a millionare.

I'm pretty certain no one will read or really take interest in this journal, but I can't help my urge to write something. Its been picking at me for a long time now, and with all other forms of my expression blocked from access, its all I've got.

I feel stuck, in a rut. a deep one at that. Like I've been transported to the old pop-eye cartoon when olive goes into labor and the old sailor is pacing the waiting room soo long he should be in the basement. Its hard to believe I'm here, stuck, after how badly I wanted to start a career. After how hard I pushed and drempt about it all. But I know why I'm here too, why I haven't made the steps I need to gettting my career started. I just can't find the drive to really lay into it and get shit done.

I guess it doesn't mean much to anyone but me, because I'm the only one who knows why I'm here and why I'm stuck. C'est la vei.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. Sorry for the vagueness. And I hope you all have a good day.