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going to the hospital..
14 years ago
I'm officially going to a psychiatric hospital in Illinois on Feb 4th. We were planning on going Jan 21st but they haven't called us back in a couple of days because of a snowstorm (snow what is that) so.. yeah
I'll be gone anywhere between 3-6 months.
I'm kind of really terrified! Which I guess is to be expected from someone with a severe medical phobia but I know I have to do this to have a chance at getting better. So I'm going to go, and try to be strong. Honestly I think if I get past the first day it'll be downhill from then on and I know I'll learn to cherish my time there. The terrible part of the first day is that I have to go through a full medical exam, including bloodtests.. Which is freaking me out so much. I know everyone says it doesn't hurt but I'm not bothered by the pain! Honestly I'd rather cut my arm myself and be like "here have your god damn blood". Soo I'm really having a hard time with that, I'm going to be on loads more meds and stuff (xanax u__u) BUT ANYWAY, besides that I'm trying to be really positive, just.. I wish I could fly up there right now and have them do the med exam, the waiting is killing me.
But it's going to be so great when I get back and I can live again! That's all I'm really thinking of. GETTING BETTER, coming home and doing all the things I haven't been able to do for the past two years. I know I'm never going to shake my illnesses completely, but I need to get them to a manageable level.
As for art I owe, I'm really not in any condition to be making art for other people. It won't be up to my standards and I'm not going to half-ass my way through things that should take time and energy. I will however be uploading one more piece of personal art.
Yep, this is a goodbye (for now!) journal. I'm really not sure when I'll be back, but when I am expect a lot of art! I'm going to take several sketchbooks if they allow it and draw in them everyday.
Love you guys!
(I know you don't know me, I just faved something of yours once when you first came to FA, I think, and anyway I was cruisin' on by your profile and saw this journal has just been posted. :)
God bless!
I hope your experiences are helpful, positive and empowering!
I'm sure they will be in the long run!
And as of now, it looks like I'll be spending 2-3 months there instead of 3-6. but we'll see. :)