I thought it might be a good time to take a moment and apologize to anyone who might have gotten offended or thinks I've gone too far. I am sorry if you've been offended by anything I've written, but that doesn't mean I"m going to stop.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm very rarely serious about anything at all, and can tell you i don't mean much of what I say. Do I enjoy clubbing baby seals? No, I think they're adorable. Do I condone curb stomping babies? ...Maybe... but only the ones that cry in movie theaters.

I think largely it's a form of stress relief. To me nothing is to sacred, or off limits to be made fun of. Some of what I write is meant to offend but it's not meant to be taken too personaly. It's not an attack against anyone. Many... alright... MOST people don't find this funny at all... but there's that ten percent that still get a snicker out of it. And, to be quite honest I don't post things like Lets Go Clubbing and Candy Land for other people. I post it for myself, but it's nice to know there's other fucked up people out there as well. It's funny because it's so fucked up and over the top.

I veiw the world as this crazy insane place, and everything about it deserves to be laughed at. Yes, it's flawed maybe even a little immature, but I don't think it's going to change anytime soon. What I write is all stuff I think of through out the day... YES I HONESTLY THINK OF THIS STUFF... So that homeless guy, that I've grown disgruntled with or the guy that ran his red light and hurt my Jeepy just might... OH! Here's one right now... There was an Old lady who swallowed a flie... I dunno why she... We sung this song at my uncle's funeral... when they found his body he was choking on a fly fishing lure and dressed in drag... he had an itch he just couldn't reach. Prehaps she'll die.

Point of all this is that I'm aware that it may not be as funny as i think it is. I may go way past many peoples' limits but don't take it seriously, and don't take it personally because i don't mean it

So now...

let me tell you about this country i want to found...

My thoughts are I'll take over one of those small countries in Africa. Doing so will be quite easy. All I have to do is tell all the people I have the medicine to cure their aids. It's over there, on the other side of that mine field. Of course this country is bound to be bullied by bands of evil mercenaries but they'll be dealt with soon enough... besides... this is Africa we're talking about so I'm hoping that there's still a legitimate fear of the white man. NO! It's not raceist because I said "people." PEOPLE live in africa. And, the fear of the white man is well documented and legit because people seem to run the other way when ever Bono is around. Bono isn't doing anything for Africa other than scaring the natives. It could be the sun glasses.

After I've taken care of the infestations problem.. er I mean PEOPLE living there the following step is to plant my flag. I've thought long and hard on what should adorn my flag and I decided upon Bozo the clown. This is because 1) Clowns are scary and have white faces, 2) that's what white people do, they move in and steal your land and 3) there will be ALOT of crazy in my country.

I figure that that since I just managed to walk in and claim this land with a Bozo the Clown flag it's more than likely no one cares about it. This could very well be because it offers nothing to really export other than dust. That's not a problem... I plan to boost my new country's economy through imports. For a small fee I will take other countries' insane, deranged, handicap and so forth off their hand for them and these will be the new citizens of my country.

Having a population that doesn't quite fire on all four cylinders suites me well. My form of government will be a dictatorship; and with laws such as no pants Thursdays, and quack like a duck Tuesdays I'll need people to go along with it and follow my every whim. I won't be a cruel dictator, infact I don't like the term dictator so from now on I decree that it be called potater. My potatership will not be a cruel potatership. The one main rule is "ALL HAIL THE GREAT POTATER!!!" After that It'll be a potatership with in reason. If I say do something you'll do it because I said so, but if you don't want to and are able to mass enough oposition against me then you don't have to do it. But, if you oppose me there's nothing keeping me from bribing you with a yearly supply of gourds.

As I said earlier those pesky bands of evil mercenaries were going to soon be dealt with. That's because the second half of my economic stimulus plan will be exporting the very same thing I'm importing. For a small fee I will take your specialy needy retrain them into world class mercenaries, and for another small fee I will sell them back to you. "Remember you're clinicly insane? Well... now they have guns!" That's right I will export the citizens of my country and make money off them! Not only does this boost my country's economy, it also helps with the population control. Oh yes, those dim witted bands of evil mercenaries patrolling along my country's borders... if they weren't afraid before they should be now. Now, we're not just a nation of crazy white folks, we're a nation of crazy white folks with guns. Imagine a whole battalion of the "not quite right" charging after you. They've got guns and grenades, they're quaking like ducks, and Shouting "for the great Potater!" Yeah, I think my borders will be pretty safe.

Anyways, that's my over view of the country I will some day found. And if I can't do this in Africa, then I'll do it to Detroit. God Knows Canada doesn't want it, and the US doesn't want it, so it might as well be it's own third world little country. So It'd be perfect, but for now I'll stick with Africa.