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Don't know if I can go on.
13 years ago
During the last week of January, I had a nervous breakdown over whether I could pass two classes for this semester. At the advice of counseling, I dropped the two stressful classes with assurances that no one would screw me for this. Then near the end of the week, I got a letter from on-campus housing stating that I had to leave due to the fact that they will allow no less then 12 credits and I was now down to six in a desperate attempt to avoid losing whats left of my sanity. Since finding off campus housing would have been all but impossible due to the natural gas gold rush insanity that has captured the area around the college I attented, I had no choice to withdraw and in all likely hood never return. So not I have no choice but to be trapped at home zoning out waiting for things to either improve or get worse. As a result of all this soul crushing depression I don't know if I will ever be able to write again. I'm exhausted enough just waking up, eating, and going to bed. At this point its only a question of how long until I'm so desperate for something 'worthwhile' to do that I settle for the lightly populated social minefield the is cleaning bathrooms in a dying town for the rest of my miserable life.
Fireblood
~fireblood
In my experinece, and from what I have seen, life is never really kind to anyone. My only advice is to care, and yet not care.
luagha
~luagha
You should probably start corresponding with your college via email about your plans to return in the fall. That and get some Wellbutrin.
whitecrow323
~whitecrow323
OP
I've tried a wide variety of meds, welbutrin being one of them. The only one that kind of works, and thats only in the short run is klonopin.
luagha
~luagha
And while I'm giving medical advice, vitamin D supplements! Get some, take a pill with every meal. It's great for depression.
cheery314
~cheery314
*hugs* Did they sign anything that said nothing would happen? If so, they broke the law.
whitecrow323
~whitecrow323
OP
I don't really know. The impression I got was that I could resume course work this fall, but given how quickly residence life all but kicked me out, I would not be at all surprised if they try to cheat me again. Of course even I could go back I don't know what I'd do. My current major was falling appart and I can't find any viable alternatives.
cheery314
~cheery314
I'm really sorry to hear that hun.
Solbeowulf
~solbeowulf
Forgive a random stranger for lending his thoughts. I also don't know if what I have to say is going to be of any consolation, but I'd at least like to offer some kind words to a person in need. The simplest thing I can say, and I know it is really not very helpful at this point, but this too shall pass. The universe operates on tide and change, one moment leading into another that is completely different. And what's more, each particular moment has some kind of place. It's a piece in a larger puzzle, while some fit looser than others, there is never a piece that doesn't have some kind of place there. Even when something that seems terrifying and downright soul rending happens there is SOME kind of reason for it, even if we cannot see it at the time. Or if we will ever see it at all. Further, life is going to be full of conflicts. It's an undeniable truth. The best we can hope for is to find some kind of...masochistic pleasure in the pain of living. We grow stronger and better through this conflict and change...but damn if it doesn't hurt when it happens. I am very sorry to hear of what has happened to you, but please, don't give up hope. Through all the pain and the bullshit that we have to put up with, at the end of the day, this too shall pass.
