I honestly don't know what to do. I have a MAJOR crush on a guy at school, it's only five months until I leave (to go to a girls school, nonetheless), he's waaaay out of my league and no one knows if he is straight or gay, I'm transgendered and hardly out to anyone and to top it all off whilst all of the other guys get to wear suits I have to wear a dress.

I'm seriously the most miserable person right now -_- . And angry.

I'm angry that my feelings are interfering with my life, and angry at my parents for making me wearing a dress when prom happens. Most of all I'm angry at myself.

I'm really quite disgusted at how creepy I am. I spent so long on his facebook page, just lurking, and so long googleing his name to find out information about him, it's like an addiction. He's always so nice to me, but I always end up not being able to talk back to him and generally acting like an idiot.

But the thing is, I also kind of don't want him to notice at all how I feel. I can not imagine an Adonis like him ever having feelings for me, especially if I told him the truth about myself.

Anyway, I painted a picture for him, and I'm going to give it to him on Monday. From my infinite amount of searches about him on the internet I've managed to discover that he loves the Alien films (which I also love!), so I painted a picture of a xenomorph (you can find it in my gallery, if you want).

It's not exactly saying it with flowers, but I spent a while on it so I hope he'll like it.

Is this a good idea?


And seriously, if anyone from school is reading this please don't be stupid. Don't ruin my life more than it already is.