Never ment to sound dramatic but things are turning out really bad lately.

Well, I guess I hit a point that anyone else in my place would freak out with this shit...
I've been having problems with my family, arguments, fights and stuff btw me and my parents and other parts of my family... my depression hasn't helped much to get over it too, I've been getting even worse depressed lately, I've been trying to keep my mind clear to avoid suicidal and prejudicial thoughts but well... feels like stuff gets worse each day...

Yesterday I just got back from my boyfriend's house, happy because I stayed like 4 days away from the drama and close to someone I love and care about... Had a stressing travel to get back, it was the last day of the extended carnival holiday here so everyone was coming back to Sao Paulo (too much traffic in the streets and bus/train/subway terminals). Well, I just got home then, and parents tried to start an argument with me... I just ignored and got in my room, nothing special on that. Parents been pressuring me a lot to get a job and quit their house asap but its hard, mainly when nobody is taking you even to clean shit out of the street.

I was fine till that, but I had an argument with someone I used to consider a friend... this person made me real mad because, I always trusted and helped her, defended her at the moments when nobody else did... This person offended me, called me a retard (not with those words, but did) and said I should get psychiatric help... I actually has Borderline disorder and I felt offended... we argued, she called me a drama queen but really... she also is the person who always called me a friend, but after I decide to left her "group", she ignored me and didn't cared about me anymore... I'm not actually wanting to see or talk to this person, but I'm not mad at her... just really offended and hurt (If you are reading this post, I don't even want your apologies, just get done with the stuff you owe me and leave me alone).

Fine, were I mad? - yes, and with enough reasons... really, all I wanted to focus was on a local anime con where I'm going to get my new fursuit, see my mate and be with friends, till the phone rings...

I thought stuff couldn't get worse till I hear my uncle harassing me thinking that was my dad... I transferred the call to the living room phone. 10 mins after hearing a long talk between my dad and uncle I just found out that my grandma died... My grandma (father's mom) was practically the only person in the family that I used to trust and talk without any problems and so... I was so bad that I couldn't cry or even get angry, I just started to shiver with the laptop in my arms while talking to people, I tried to keep myself distracted till late to see if I could relax for a while, but no...

I'm going through a hard moment and practically there's nobody to help or even talk to me. I'm trusting only my best friend and my boyfriend but well, they're helping their way... I don't like to sound dramatic or shit, but please, I want you all to understand me if I've been an asshole to you guys... I'm really sorry...


Hope you all understand.

- Uren