happy early birthday!

Thank yas! ^^

man this sounds so cool and dam why ya have to be on when i sleep XD

Heh, time differences probably. I can never catch Raysuko either because of it. <XD

Money is dead. Love is alive.
It is good that you feel; many cannot feel.

I don't really know where your life is headed, or how it will all turn out. I don't know what you're made of, I don't know the whole truth. My words are small and my ideas are not abundantly developed.

Despite all that, I would say : That when you are with your loves, you can see, feel and remember the value and essential feelings of life. In many ways, feeling is more than knowing, and to know aswel as feel at the same time, is best. I can remember and try to know through knowledge, to practice through principal, what I no-longer can feel or experience. But it's definitely not the same, for me it is incomplete.

You're still so young, full of health. Feelings can only be felt fully by a healthy and fully operational bindbody. If the physical system of one's body is ever damaged in such and such a way, there can no-longer be any thought or feeling anymore. One would be wise to be most careful with life, to be gentle with each body, to patiently understand what each needs most.

By age, birthdays, life, it fades like a burning stick.
To be is not to know, in this case of my existence.
I know I'm fading away, but out of something like hope, I still act and speak. I still say to my friends, a greeting, good wishes. I'm not burnt out yet. But I wonder some days, and some days I do not want to speak, or I cannot speak to others. I just watch this process of myself burning out and fading out of the world.

I'd like to remember you forever, aswel as each of my friends... Some of them, I think about, every day, though some have turned to later hate me, others ignore, others died, some forget, some still feel. Each of their bodies are fading out, it matters not what age. If I can ever remember forever, I will try my very best to do so, to remember each day and each moment, and to especially remember each person.

All of these people at the forum, they post their art up, they show others their dreams, desires and inspirations. They want someone to see them, and remember them. Most of these people want somebody to think about them, to value and understand each of them. This desire for conscious awareness in the world, aswel as in and around someone's own life, I see it each day, no matter whether someone uploads perfect works of art or childish scribblings. The real desire behind it all has to do with living, and knowing that one is alive, how one is alive, exactly what the inner intends.

They each probably don't know me, or think about me at all, but if I can, I will remember them too, and try to know. I'll try to understand. Everything they've done would go on forgotten soon, it would drift down into the shadows. Without being noted, no life could animate it or hold up as valuable. Time holds such strange treasures, extinct species, infinite corpses, old persons now passed away, each event, whole civilizations, all of the unimaginable oceans of everything, now gone into that shadey passed.

If ever I could, I'd go back in time with the utmost of care, and pick up each lost artifact, repair it as much as I could, then store it in a perminant place. I'd float into your house, remember the colors of the walls, see each person, the colors, scents, radiant waves of shape and pattern. The whole truth about each person and each event. I thought that would be even better than a celebration, to completely know someone instead of clapping your hands for them. I'll try to remember you, and so much else. That's what I'll try to do. It's not exactly a celebration... but, it's a way of trying to value the truth about life, and find it then remember it.

I would applaud that more than I would any celebration, actually. One day I had a thought that was similar to that, I think. I just pulled out my cell phone and started taking random videos around the town I live, of just mundane places and little bits of the park, on the thought that this place won't exist anymore with any relevance to me once I move. And twenty years down the line if I come back, it still won't exist because it will have changed. I took a bunch of videos of random things, and it was like I could feel this current of change under everything that was both pleasing because it's progress in a way, and unnerving because it's kind of destructive. I think that's somewhat similar to what you were saying near the end anyway.

Yeah ... any growing older, there is definitely a darker side to experience. It's like a kind of useful filth, like grime on a window pane. The brand new window pane is so wonderful and brilliant, and so clear it's as if it isn't there. Like a really young child's mind that is just open to any and all influence more or less. And as it ages, it naturally gets some kind of tint from the light it's exposed to, the kind of a personality and the kind of overall feel that a person develops for them self. And then the grime latches on, which is like knowledge. Knowing things makes it so you gain a direction, a color and tint, specifically altering the way that you see things. It makes it darker too, for sure. The light that comes into and continues through you becomes fogged and limited.

But there are ways to clean your mind too, I think. It's a way of dirtying your own pane of existence to become dark and feel very limited, and to feel that you are simply ceasing to be. Forgetting someone surely does make them fade in a way, but think of how you first came to exist to them at all. You met them, and they started to remember what your name was, your smile, how you laugh and how you do things, what makes you you instead of someone else. And you definitely still have that ability to make that impact on the new people you meet. The more people you meet, the brighter you burn in ways of just plain existing, I think. And if you meet someone new but are fading, and don't offer things because the risk of being completely forgotten has you going inward and being reserved, it just cycles and adds to the process, I think.

In essence, being completely and utterly forgotten at some point in the future seems to be an unavoidable thing, I don't know how you could establish some way of making others in the future care about you so that your name would be passed on for an eternity. I don't really think it's quite, possible. So, I don't really worry about people forgetting about me personally. As long as I can see my hands and know that I'm here for me, I can still affect others and make decisions, so it doesn't seem to matter. Because if someone does forget me I can still make them remember.

And when I've passed on, I don't really understand anything as making me more worthy than the billions of others, trillions maybe, who have come to be in their own time and now are no more at all by means of existing in the minds of the living.

To actually make an impact and be recognized though, is a wonderful feeling anyone would want I guess. You do feel more alive when others know who you are, and have discussions about you that you never hear or know about. Heh, I don't know what I'm trying to say. XD

I think that you have to feel, though. I like crying. Sometimes when watching movies or listening to something, I like to cry and feel moved. It's almost a pleasant feeling to be miserable and crying because I know that I'm alive, connected, receiving, giving, portraying. For awhile when I was becoming really depressed, I found at some point I just could not cry about anything. If someone had died, I wouldn't have been able to. I'd willingly disconnected myself from the reality around me, and I wasn't feeling anymore. I'm really glad that meeting my mate helped change that around for me.

Well, I hope I said something relevant; I love your style of conveying ideas, but I fear that some of your meanings may escape me as I read ^^; and I dislike misinterpreting what someone is trying to say quite a bit.

Interesting. I guess you'd sortof applaud that trying-to-feel and remember life thing, but... Look at Duo, I think he's able to make flaming farts. Isn't that what's going on? I think he really knows what he's doing. I admire the heck out of that. He's on the right path, that Duo guy. I think it's a guy.

Is a guy, I think. Heh, though at the moment thanks to the game I was playing I have to think angry-princess-fryingpan attacks are just a tinge more up the awesome meter X3

*Claps his hands and cries* That's a very beautiful way of putting things T.=.T

^0^ *twirls keyboard around and bows* <XD yes, I have my insightful moments, heh heh heh.

I feel inadequate after that wonderful entry submitted by Danius and I couldn't top that no matter how hard I tried to, so I'm just gonna say..

Happy Birthday, Dude! May you have many many more!

<XD heh, well I don't even know if I could understand the underlying point; it was quite epic, wasn't it?

And thanks, o course! ^^

*Blushes* You'd go to Mcdonalds with Wolfy and me over a $200 dinner?! I...I really admire that. But, could we go somewhere otehr then Mcdonalds? That place can kill someone. And...I...uh...I am on a new diet to gain more muscle and weight. I am a little underweight. Gatta get those muscles ^.=.-

Glad to here you have been doing awsome stuff with Wolfy! Though once I get a computer, we can all get together on OC! ^.=.^

For sure! That'd be awesome! ^0^ And yeah, McDonalds to make the point. Their food does not leave you feeling too good, heh. And it wouldn't help us tone ourselves anytime soon as ya said. X3 A fancy dinner for the three of us would probably have to mean going somewhere with a large menu, heh. I love eating weird and exotic foods, Wolfy usually gets the same more usual kind of thing, yep.

But yes, I really look forward to when you have a computer and can be online with us, in OC, on chat, everything!

I watched that video called "Super Size Me". It's scared the scales out of me! Never again will I eat at McDonalds O.=.O"" Yeah, I would rather go to a fancy dinner with you guys. I'd order a pizza, a fancy pizza! ^.{}.^ I never really eat exotic foods. ^.=.^""

Yeah, I hope to get a computer. But I find that unlikely ^.=.^""

You know, I think I might have a job soon ~ I think it would be totally worth it to help you try and get one once I have some money going ^^;

EH?! 0.=.0""

But...but! That money should be for you. You souldn't spend it on me. Expecually getting me a computer! 0.=.0"" *Blushes wildly, twidling his thumbs*

*spastic hug*

But you're a close friend! <XD what are friends for? Besides, I can always make more money. I'm not very tight with my money, heh, unless it's for something like saving up to see Wolfy or you.

*Gives a spastic hug back* (What is spastic? o.=.0 )

*Blushes* Yeah, well, your my close friend as well. *Kicks a stone* #^.=.^# I still think you shouldn't use moeny on me. Visiting Wolfy or me, I can understand. But using your money to buy a computer?! Yet alone for me?! Your to kind! *Weeps in your arms* Your to KIND! T.=.T

<8D *holds you, chuckling*

Heh, once I get a job I'll have the money to help you two and finally feel useful, heh <XD;

oh and spastic ... think spazz. X3

*Hugs you ever tight*

You are useful just being here with us! I...I love you so much T.{}.T *Note: Raysuko can sometimes be too emotional*

Oh...that's what it is? Murr, I should have know that. I feel like a dummy head >.=.<

oh heh heh! I love you too! And be careful, because if you get emotional, so will I! and then just imagine what Wolfy will have to deal with ... <XD And yes, I like the word spastic, heh. I use it to describe a lot of things. X3

Err, then I better learn how to control my emotions. I mostly get sad or become happy. It's one of the two. I am mostly a little sad most of the time, but that's ok. I am afraid what Wolfy would say if I was emotional around him. -.=.-

Spastic...hmm. Has some kind of spice on my tongue when I say it. *laughs* ^.{}.^

Ch, yep! And that's why I like to say it. ^^

Being emotional around Wolfy, hmm ... well he usually is very mild, and you can be very emotional, so I think of myself as being inbetween. Maybe I could help things along as a kind of mediator sometimes? <X3

Hmm, a mediator eh? I guess you could do that. Wolfy is mild? Well...can't really say anything at this point about him. I haven't spoken to him in a awhile, I think. o.=.0

not in awhile huh? o__O we should have a three way conversation again or something, huh?

Would be great! Although I have no idea how we even did it ^.=.^\"\"

83 I think it was myself that got it going, hur hur ... I called Wolfy, then I pressed the call button again and called you, methinks. We'll have to try it again over the weekend or sum'um.

I am available anytime you'd like. Feel free to call anytime you feel like talking to me. ^.=.^