Still Kinda sick but getting better...anyway this is a vent.

My life to most people is the best damn thing to happen to someone, I do not work, all I do is stay in the house and do what I can to entertain myself. I have a husband that loves me dearly and give me whatever I want. To me my life sucks and I hate it. I never leave the house unless someone invites me to go out, or I need something from the store. I'm bored out of my mind most of the time and am completely miserable. I don't really have any friends that I can talk to. I also do not see any point in going out and making IRL friends because ever since I graduated high-school everyone I have tried to make friends with has only broken my heart.

At the moment I am living in Nevada with my Mom in a house we bought together (My Mom and Husband). I am waiting on the military to pull their heads out of their asses and give me a final say on my Command Sponsorship so I can move to Alaska to live with my husband. My Mom has a new boyfriend and I have to deal with seeing and hearing them be a couple all the time. I want my mom to be happy, but when they are being lovey-dovey it just makes me feel like the third wheel as well as lonely. I have no one to vent to because my 3 IRL friends are busy with their own lives and I rarely get to talk with them, and one of them is more interested in being my mom and brother's friend instead of mine. My husband is also too stressed with work and just as depressed as me to put fourth effort into cheering me up.

I have trouble sleeping at night because of my depression, and my anxiety disorder. I will be laying in bed feeling a great and unexplainable fear, and all rational thought goes out the window. This is at like 2-3am in the morning, so I have no one to talk to. I'll cry in my sleep and feel like I'm crying all day. My mom tells me to get a job at least once a week, or about a new diet plan. She tries to help me, but most of the time it just ends up making me miserable.

I do not know what to do to become truly happy, not just have happy moments, and I have no one to talk to. I cannot write, rp, complete video-games or projects, and my drawing skills have gone downhill, and I have been like this since high-school, so for almost 3 years.

I want to sell art, so I take requests as practice, but sometimes I will get a project I think I can do, and later on realize it is too hard for my current skill level (which is deteriorating) I am hoping to go back to school for art, but does it really make enough money? I'm told by everyone (offline) that there is a reason they are called "Starving Artists" is this still true in today's world?

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my rant.