I'm feeling fairly shitty for a multitude of reasons, one of which being my XBox 360 isn't working, and it's past warranty (go fucking figure). My parents also went back on their promise to pay for my car loan while I finish my senior year and have no job...so out of the 300 dollars of my own, I put a third of it towards my loan, though I told my dad that I wanted it to be put towards the repairs (which will cost between 500-600 dollars) because it's going to be a LOT harder to get the 500 dollars than it is to get the 115 dollars for the monthly payment they had already promised to pay for the next month or two.

Oh, and then there's the issue about my paranoid schizophrenia and bi-polar, which sometimes make me so scared or insecure that I can't mentally function. I've also come to accept that it doesn't matter if I was to die or become permanantly injured. I honestly don't really care what happens to me the majority of the time, and the only real reason I haven't given up completely is because I have a morbid curiousity as to how far I can go before totally breaking.

To be completely honest, at this point and time I would give up every friendship and talent I have if it would rid me of most of my memories and mental setbacks. After all, I don't really have a lot of friends anyways, and even the ones I DO have it is increasingly hard to believe they trust me or like me.

And to anyone that even bothers to read this; I am fairly surprised, seeing as nobody really acknowledges me on here. Trust me, I'm used to that.