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Death, Mortuus, Mortality, Life
13 years ago
I am not writing this to be emo or lighten my heart but as a mere thought provoker about something.
The other day I got news that a close friend to my dad and me had died about a month ago, He had been sick for a long time and steadily getting more and more ill. We both knew his end was inevitably close.
But this year also mark the 10 year annivarsery of another close friend of ours. These two now deceased and my dad used to be very close friends and they spent alot of time togather and so did I through them. I liked them all alot and they meant alot to me.
I miss both of them of course and is a little saddened by their demise for I will never talk to them again but in many ways I am also happy.
The one who has been dead for 10 years had heart issues and the last one had lung issues, so I am happy they don't have to suffer anymore.
But it is not the main reason is not something I didn't realise until a few years ago when I did my so called soul searching. The first friend whos death is a decade ago, he had no family, they were all long since gone, he didn't have a girlfriend, he had no kids. He was ultimately the end of his family line. He was a great annoyance, his endless talks with me when I was 10 years old frustrated me like it would to any kid. But looking back to it I realised he cared more about me than I realised back then, He cared about me in many ways like I was his own child. I am happy that I could be someone that he could care about to such a degree, to be the son he never had and I know he would be proud these days if he was around. If I could say something to him these days, it would simply be a thank you for caring.
As for the later, He wasn't much better, he was a great annoyanceb ut what can you say? They were all a bunch of old farts and I was just a kid, but he still cared aswell like I was one of his own, this one had kids which is how we came to know of his demise. When he got sick one time I visited him in the hospital with my dad, I wasnt forced I wanted to go there because he was a nice guy. I am happy I could play a role in his life and be someone that made him think and have good times with him.
I will not lie saying It is a go all around happiness, tears do flow occasionally thinking back but it is not tears of sadness but tears of happiness. I am happy for those things, I am happy I played a role in their lives and made it count. That I was someone important enough in their lives that I was someone they opened their hearts to and cared for. I know if I had ever a problem I could have gone to them now, even if I didnt back then.
What is the point of this journal if it isn't just to pour out my heart and make myself feel better?
To make people think on that when a person die you should not think on that you have lost someone, we will all die. Sure they will be missed but be happy you knew the person and was part of their lives, that you shared moments, emotions and times with them. Cherish those memories forever, they will be carried with you and then in an essence part of the person will remain with you.
I will always remember them and everyone that played a big part of my life, in good and bad times because that is what defiene us humans and our relations
The other day I got news that a close friend to my dad and me had died about a month ago, He had been sick for a long time and steadily getting more and more ill. We both knew his end was inevitably close.
But this year also mark the 10 year annivarsery of another close friend of ours. These two now deceased and my dad used to be very close friends and they spent alot of time togather and so did I through them. I liked them all alot and they meant alot to me.
I miss both of them of course and is a little saddened by their demise for I will never talk to them again but in many ways I am also happy.
The one who has been dead for 10 years had heart issues and the last one had lung issues, so I am happy they don't have to suffer anymore.
But it is not the main reason is not something I didn't realise until a few years ago when I did my so called soul searching. The first friend whos death is a decade ago, he had no family, they were all long since gone, he didn't have a girlfriend, he had no kids. He was ultimately the end of his family line. He was a great annoyance, his endless talks with me when I was 10 years old frustrated me like it would to any kid. But looking back to it I realised he cared more about me than I realised back then, He cared about me in many ways like I was his own child. I am happy that I could be someone that he could care about to such a degree, to be the son he never had and I know he would be proud these days if he was around. If I could say something to him these days, it would simply be a thank you for caring.
As for the later, He wasn't much better, he was a great annoyanceb ut what can you say? They were all a bunch of old farts and I was just a kid, but he still cared aswell like I was one of his own, this one had kids which is how we came to know of his demise. When he got sick one time I visited him in the hospital with my dad, I wasnt forced I wanted to go there because he was a nice guy. I am happy I could play a role in his life and be someone that made him think and have good times with him.
I will not lie saying It is a go all around happiness, tears do flow occasionally thinking back but it is not tears of sadness but tears of happiness. I am happy for those things, I am happy I played a role in their lives and made it count. That I was someone important enough in their lives that I was someone they opened their hearts to and cared for. I know if I had ever a problem I could have gone to them now, even if I didnt back then.
What is the point of this journal if it isn't just to pour out my heart and make myself feel better?
To make people think on that when a person die you should not think on that you have lost someone, we will all die. Sure they will be missed but be happy you knew the person and was part of their lives, that you shared moments, emotions and times with them. Cherish those memories forever, they will be carried with you and then in an essence part of the person will remain with you.
I will always remember them and everyone that played a big part of my life, in good and bad times because that is what defiene us humans and our relations
I remember the good times and believe people are in a happier place.
And the question becomes also why waste time in this life? If there is a better place the logicly sound actino to do is to acctually kill everyone you care about otherwise you are lieing to others and yourself about this better place.
Also, it is people 'hoping' they arevin a better place, that they made it to heaven. They could be in a 'far woorse place' if they are in hell. Or blah in purgatory.
Through the paradigm of there being an afterlife that is better, how can you justify not killing those you love so they get the fast ticket to a better place?
If you had the means of making things better for htem, wouldn't you do it? If you ahd a billion dollars wouldnt you send them money so they got it better? If a better place awaits beyond the grave then the kind, merciful and logical thing to do is to send their bodies into the grave asap.
But as I see it you cant go from "I love X" and "There is a better afterlife" to "I won't kill X"
But you can go from those to "I am going to kill X" because it is then a kind and merciful act in full agreement to you caring about that person.