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Thoughts
14 years ago
General
This just a bunch out thoughts I need to get out or my head.
So Thursday was my last day of work and Friday I went a head and said terminate me. And I am going nuts. I have been going nuts. I'm not getting to sleep till 5-7 am. I am very antsy/bored. I have just about $1k left which I might be able to stretch out for three months.
I haven't been eating as much and I've been trying to switch off of sugar drinks to water. I think this from bad report from my dentist visit. A strange thing about me is in the few dreams I've had more often then not I smoke. Its been getting really tempting to start. If I start I may never stop. It doesn't help things my parents both smoke inside the apartment.
With this weather change here I am starting to miss being able to walk around at night. The only place I've been able to do that was at college. It wasn't unusual for me to walk 3-5 miles around campus at 2 am or 3 am. They never really helped but it was nice to get out.
My step father for good reasons is leaving his job soon. So our families money situation is going to get even worse. I have no what the plans are after he quits.
Add to it my 30th is in a little over 2 weeks. With my computer skills in high school teachers and staff would cut me breaks on things. I couldn't tell you how many times I heard "He is going to be a millionaire by the time he's 30." There is even a photo out there know as the "Millionaire Club."
I have little idea of who I am to people. Far as I know I am just a lurker, just always there and not really part of things. I realize I don't say much so no reason for it to be otherwise. I just don't have much to say. This just makes some of the things that are going on hard to handle. I keep thinking do I have the place to comment or should I just keep to myself.
Needless to say I've been suffering from bouts of depression. I could really use some one in my life to just hold me some times and make me feel like things are going to be alright.
So Thursday was my last day of work and Friday I went a head and said terminate me. And I am going nuts. I have been going nuts. I'm not getting to sleep till 5-7 am. I am very antsy/bored. I have just about $1k left which I might be able to stretch out for three months.
I haven't been eating as much and I've been trying to switch off of sugar drinks to water. I think this from bad report from my dentist visit. A strange thing about me is in the few dreams I've had more often then not I smoke. Its been getting really tempting to start. If I start I may never stop. It doesn't help things my parents both smoke inside the apartment.
With this weather change here I am starting to miss being able to walk around at night. The only place I've been able to do that was at college. It wasn't unusual for me to walk 3-5 miles around campus at 2 am or 3 am. They never really helped but it was nice to get out.
My step father for good reasons is leaving his job soon. So our families money situation is going to get even worse. I have no what the plans are after he quits.
Add to it my 30th is in a little over 2 weeks. With my computer skills in high school teachers and staff would cut me breaks on things. I couldn't tell you how many times I heard "He is going to be a millionaire by the time he's 30." There is even a photo out there know as the "Millionaire Club."
I have little idea of who I am to people. Far as I know I am just a lurker, just always there and not really part of things. I realize I don't say much so no reason for it to be otherwise. I just don't have much to say. This just makes some of the things that are going on hard to handle. I keep thinking do I have the place to comment or should I just keep to myself.
Needless to say I've been suffering from bouts of depression. I could really use some one in my life to just hold me some times and make me feel like things are going to be alright.
