Today was my birthday. Yay......

I had quite a few gifts, had a lazy day off, and I got to have dinner with my friends at Cici's Pizza. Anyone could say it was the best day ever, but it wasn't. It's just that I feel this empty void that seems so deep, nothing could ever fill it.

I just don't know what is with me......

When I am with friends, I don't feel like I belong. There are times when I wish I was not even invited to whatever event I go to.

People think I am the happiest camper in the block, but they are wrong..

I feel depressed all the time...
I am not motivated enough to do anything right. There are times I wish I could just disappear from the face of the earth.

I don't know what to do.. I don't know what I want. If only I could talk to someone who understood me.... maybe they could help me figure things out.

Being like this makes me cry, sometimes. I want to be able to smile and mean it.

The sad part is, some people would not be able to understand this since I keep jumping from subject to subject.

I wish I could enjoy life for once.....