I've had such an utterly stressful week, I'm on the brink of getting kicked off my college course and, by extension, home. I have to live every day with the knowledge that I'm this useless sack of crap who only lives for the internet, pretty much, and has a horrible personality to boot.

And there's no use pretending otherwise. I don't know how many people I've ended up upsetting, but I can think of three off the top of my head.  Scottish_Dark_Hawk ,  vorishGlaceon and  shikaro . And  guzame too.

It doesn't help that I keep pushing people away when I get upset. I rarely ever even say what's wrong or even let on that anything is really getting to me. If I've learned anything, it's that my problems are stupid and insignificant compared to everyone else's and the things that matter to me are not a big deal at all to others. I tend to ignore when people try to make me feel better because... really, I don't deserve it. I really feel like I deserve to just be miserable.

Just remember, when something does upset me, it's usually not that alone. It's that on top of everything else, including my myraid shortcomings, the many things I've screwed up and that, offline or on, I'm not really fit to interact with anyone. Having to live with that every day all bottled up... I get crushed under the weight of it easily.

But that's no excuse. I can never make right what's wrong, and I never forget it.


If anything, wiping out my gallery was the only real relief I've had against me. I suppose if anyone particularly wants something that was on the gallery, just ask and I'll see if I still got it or something... I hate looking back on old things anyway.

I'll just sit in the corner over there. Don't mind me. ._.