okay, i can not use names because of the nature of my job, but i really wanna tell people about this...

i'm a night auditor at a hotel and things at my job have been steadily mounting. for the last few days, i have been helping to console a one of our guest who has been here because of family in the hospital. each night, she talksed to me a great deal and admittedly more than i had time for. i could not just ditch her though and she was a very sweet woman in general anyway.

tonight at work, i had a bit of a anxiety moment trying to figure out my finances. one of the times we where talking, i let slip my situation and how i was scared about being able to afford the place i am going to have to move into soon. it is super cheep, but i am also super broke. ^^:

longer story short, we finish our talk and i get back to work. later, she comes up to me and starts by asking for a hug. i gladly do so since i needed one a bit myself at the time, and then she tells me something along the lines of, "now this is perfectly normal for your job to take tips and you can't say no to this."

then...she handed me a hundred dollar bill... (and just to put that in perspective, i get tipped maybe once a month)

she then proceeded to tell me that i was too smart to be limited to this place and that i she could not see me unable to find a better place in life. and mostly, that i should have belief in myself and to know i can do more than i limit myself to.

i won't go in the tear filled thank yous and what not, but i will admit my shock and pride had me mostly silent at that point anyway.

the point of this journal is to say that she was able to remind me that you help people to help people. not to get something in return. i'm still kinda trying to cope with it right now and dealing with things, but things definitely looking up. i have been gifted with a great deal more than just something monetary. the woman saw what i doubt in myself every day and to have it stated so baldly by someone i met so recently really hits home.

as of my next opportunity, i am going to be looking to see if i can find a job with a higher pay rate. gonna finally really give up on being able to afford working where i am. i hate change and i'm scared shitless of it too, but thanks to that wonderful woman, i think i am finally gonna kick my up into action and get cracking on finding a higher income job....