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Things I am grateful for
13 years ago
First, a rant.
I moved to Texas one year ago tomorrow. I came here because I was sick of feeling stuck, broke, unwanted, and lonely.
Now, I'm stuck, broke, unwanted, and lonely in Texas. I moved here to be with a man that had professed his love to me and wanted me to move in with him, something I struggled terribly to accept. Ultimately, I took too long to accept it, and our relationship flat-lined after I'd signed a one-year lease with him and the woman that adores him. Yes, looking back, I realize just how fucked up a decision it was to share a house with those two. It was a decision I made out of nievity and the poorly thought-out notion that I could befriend someone that saw me only as competition and totally missed the signs that the relationship I thought existed was actually already gone.
Secondly, I've spent the last 15 years trying to find a niche for myself as a computer technician/builder, but every time I find myself in a spot where I'm actually doing things I love doing (Building, repairing, and setting up PCs), the time in it is brief and no further opportunities arise there. Now, my job is to wander around hospitals and find employees that haven't setup their passwords for a new interface, read them a script for 5 minutes, then go on to the next. It's boring, tedious, and totally humiliating to my skills and talents. I'm having to borrow, beg, and pawn things off to survive until my first paycheck, which I'm not at all excited about receiving.
The one thing I can get passionate about: Creative writing, is a dead-end. One does not become an author and expect to live off it. I am stuck in a career that I no longer have any passion for, which saps my energy to do what I actually do love to do.
And so, I write the things I actually am grateful for, in hopes I don't lose my mind.
My online friends:
Swiftpaw,
ruaidri, 
Shiro-Kitsune
The girl that I may well fall for, yet still need to meet and touch in-person to know for sure: Mandy
My relatively good health. Not perfect, but I've lacked insurance for over a year and have not needed it any.
My being in a country that's mostly safe from random violence.
My connection to the Internet, which lets me see and experience so much
My car, though it may also be a point of frustration since the Check Engine light continues to come on and I'm past due for state inspection, it's proven well worth it's $2000 price tag
The art I've collected over the years
My family, whom I know will catch me should I fall as hard as it feels I may in the next few days
My computer, which continues to function like a champ and handle 99% of what I throw at it(Damn you Just Cause 2), despite being over two years old and a laptop.
My bed, which I do not at all regret spending $900 on as a good night's sleep (even if it must be 75+ degrees to save energy bill $) is priceless
There, I think that's enough. I should be a happy and content person now.
*curls up in a corner to sob*
I moved to Texas one year ago tomorrow. I came here because I was sick of feeling stuck, broke, unwanted, and lonely.
Now, I'm stuck, broke, unwanted, and lonely in Texas. I moved here to be with a man that had professed his love to me and wanted me to move in with him, something I struggled terribly to accept. Ultimately, I took too long to accept it, and our relationship flat-lined after I'd signed a one-year lease with him and the woman that adores him. Yes, looking back, I realize just how fucked up a decision it was to share a house with those two. It was a decision I made out of nievity and the poorly thought-out notion that I could befriend someone that saw me only as competition and totally missed the signs that the relationship I thought existed was actually already gone.
Secondly, I've spent the last 15 years trying to find a niche for myself as a computer technician/builder, but every time I find myself in a spot where I'm actually doing things I love doing (Building, repairing, and setting up PCs), the time in it is brief and no further opportunities arise there. Now, my job is to wander around hospitals and find employees that haven't setup their passwords for a new interface, read them a script for 5 minutes, then go on to the next. It's boring, tedious, and totally humiliating to my skills and talents. I'm having to borrow, beg, and pawn things off to survive until my first paycheck, which I'm not at all excited about receiving.
The one thing I can get passionate about: Creative writing, is a dead-end. One does not become an author and expect to live off it. I am stuck in a career that I no longer have any passion for, which saps my energy to do what I actually do love to do.
And so, I write the things I actually am grateful for, in hopes I don't lose my mind.
My online friends:
Swiftpaw,
ruaidri, 
Shiro-KitsuneThe girl that I may well fall for, yet still need to meet and touch in-person to know for sure: Mandy
My relatively good health. Not perfect, but I've lacked insurance for over a year and have not needed it any.
My being in a country that's mostly safe from random violence.
My connection to the Internet, which lets me see and experience so much
My car, though it may also be a point of frustration since the Check Engine light continues to come on and I'm past due for state inspection, it's proven well worth it's $2000 price tag
The art I've collected over the years
My family, whom I know will catch me should I fall as hard as it feels I may in the next few days
My computer, which continues to function like a champ and handle 99% of what I throw at it(Damn you Just Cause 2), despite being over two years old and a laptop.
My bed, which I do not at all regret spending $900 on as a good night's sleep (even if it must be 75+ degrees to save energy bill $) is priceless
There, I think that's enough. I should be a happy and content person now.
*curls up in a corner to sob*
I'm still quite unhappy with the state of things, but at least I have the mind to do something about it. Not sure what yet, but something.
Sadly, I haven't anything in the way of drawing talent. I do love writing, though.
http://mirrors.rit.edu/instantCSI/
Sorry. Aanseda naut foss otetty unnierm .
If there's ever anything useful I can do to make your life a happier place, let me know. If I ever manage to have a house here with extra space methinks you'd be welcome. ^^
That job sounds like a temp job I had once for 6-8 months..started as vague data entry projects, became routine oddities like mail delivery and printing/copying tasks and helping nurses that barely understood Windows. =P
Thank you. Kinda funny how I kinda wish things would up-end far enough to where that extra space would be needed. As it stands, my family will catch me if I should fall hard enough to where homelessness is only possible if I insist upon it.
I'm... adjusting to it, as it seems like we're getting the work done a lot faster than expected (We got 7 extra people in today for today and tomorow, so that helped, even if I had to train two of them myself). With any luck, we'll get so much done tomorrow that there won't be any reason for me to stay on this project for any more than another day or two of wrap-up next week.
I really wish I could find someone or organization that would pay me just enough to cover my expenses in exchange for me writing stories.