I may have nothing in it this year... i had a piece i was very happy with and was going to colour up to send in. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/145899/

yeah it is mature but i was going to fix that whilst colouring it. an easy fix to simply shadow out the the crotch.


However that is not going to happen cause the print book it was in is gone. simply fucking gone. 5 hours of looking. not here. gone.

so pissed off i stormed around the house for a while before i just sat down and put in Oblivion. so far i have been nothing but good guy Greg in this game. no thefts and when i finally got over 100% chameleon i did not even kill things in oblivion. just walked by and closed the gates. so i fire it up and save and walk into the main city and killed EVERY FUCKING PERSON I COULD. everyone. even broke into houses and woke people to kill them. bodies littered the streets so much some sections of the city took way long to load.

and then after slaughtering everyone i could i reset the game and ran. just fucking ran. everywhere. i lost myself in the game like i have not done in ages and now it is 4 am and i stopped. from 7 something pm til now. no art done, did not get the garbage out, did not even eat after cooking until my blood sugar demanded food now. did nothing i was supposed to because that fucking book is missing.

i also found myself telling myself how worthless my art is anyway and that it is no fucking loss to anyone and no one else cares about anything anyway. strangely it almost made me feel less bad. cause if it was true then i could just relax. in a way. i want to give up so badly. i want to give up everything so badly. just give up and curl up and sleep until i dream eternal.