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Damn i have not posted in a while
10 years ago
ओम श्री गणेश फिर नामा.
सब जो पढ़ने इस धन्य हो और शांति पता चलो.
चलो मुझे तैयार है और तैयार बातें मैं जरूरत
हम सभी पर समृद्धि और शांति की चमक चलो
सब जो पढ़ने इस धन्य हो और शांति पता चलो.
चलो मुझे तैयार है और तैयार बातें मैं जरूरत
हम सभी पर समृद्धि और शांति की चमक चलो
I have not put up much of anything of late for a good reason i guess.
first and foremost My arm still has not healed and earlier this winter i pulled everything in it again and what i am guessing is nerve damage from the Simvastin and Lisinopril medications makes it hard for me to get my hands to do what i want them to do. i drop pens and pencils. my arm tires out after ten minutes of trying. My eye sight is a little worse but i can still use my normal reading glasses and i still see well but after wearing my glasses now for a little while it feels like i have been crying for hours.
also nothing i needed to get done outside or in got done before the cold came and put the severe cripple hold on me. so many people including the ones that care about me understand what it is like to be in crippling pain all the time. or that especially in winter moving is like i am trying to move through tar. so many people act like because i am not in a wheel chair yet or some such shit i should be ok cause i LOOK fine.
which is one of the problems i am going to face in a week. due to incredible shitty shit shit i will have to go to court to i guess prove i am not some drug dealer cause a friend of mine was taking some of my old meds to the local hospital for me to be destroyed. crazy shit happened and now they think i was trying to sell it. because it was in a baggy and not the nigh impossible for me to open pill bottle it came in. even though i still had the bottles and they have seen them.
I keep getting told that there is nothing to worry about. hell i even pulled out my old tarot cards and gave them a spin and the reading told me to quit hitting myself but i have been through so much crap for so long i am filled with paranoia and fear and nasty twisting in my stomach. hell i have not even had my proper diabetic meds in a fucking year. trying to make due with proper diet and supplements and high fiber everything (cause i enjoy shitting out a wicker swing set) As it is i was finally going to be able to get back to my doctor hopefully but then this shit came up and i have to make sure i am around to go to court. so i have to wait til this shit is done cause i know after this much time my Doctor is going to nail me in a Hospital bed for a while or send me to a million and a half places for this and that (which due to lack of rides anywhere and winter and a broken garage door keeping my mobility scooter grounded means i will probably not get to shit)
yeah just fuck
at least on satruday i got to be around people for a birthday dinner which is good it happened then cause today my real birthday is SNOW COVERED. I was going to try to get to the library to get some forms printed out i need to fill out but I think i am going to skip that at the moment. it is hard enough for me to walk with no obstructions. and walk9ing that far on a nice day is like having a thousand daggers in my legs. walking in this shit... nope nope nope.
first and foremost My arm still has not healed and earlier this winter i pulled everything in it again and what i am guessing is nerve damage from the Simvastin and Lisinopril medications makes it hard for me to get my hands to do what i want them to do. i drop pens and pencils. my arm tires out after ten minutes of trying. My eye sight is a little worse but i can still use my normal reading glasses and i still see well but after wearing my glasses now for a little while it feels like i have been crying for hours.
also nothing i needed to get done outside or in got done before the cold came and put the severe cripple hold on me. so many people including the ones that care about me understand what it is like to be in crippling pain all the time. or that especially in winter moving is like i am trying to move through tar. so many people act like because i am not in a wheel chair yet or some such shit i should be ok cause i LOOK fine.
which is one of the problems i am going to face in a week. due to incredible shitty shit shit i will have to go to court to i guess prove i am not some drug dealer cause a friend of mine was taking some of my old meds to the local hospital for me to be destroyed. crazy shit happened and now they think i was trying to sell it. because it was in a baggy and not the nigh impossible for me to open pill bottle it came in. even though i still had the bottles and they have seen them.
I keep getting told that there is nothing to worry about. hell i even pulled out my old tarot cards and gave them a spin and the reading told me to quit hitting myself but i have been through so much crap for so long i am filled with paranoia and fear and nasty twisting in my stomach. hell i have not even had my proper diabetic meds in a fucking year. trying to make due with proper diet and supplements and high fiber everything (cause i enjoy shitting out a wicker swing set) As it is i was finally going to be able to get back to my doctor hopefully but then this shit came up and i have to make sure i am around to go to court. so i have to wait til this shit is done cause i know after this much time my Doctor is going to nail me in a Hospital bed for a while or send me to a million and a half places for this and that (which due to lack of rides anywhere and winter and a broken garage door keeping my mobility scooter grounded means i will probably not get to shit)
yeah just fuck
at least on satruday i got to be around people for a birthday dinner which is good it happened then cause today my real birthday is SNOW COVERED. I was going to try to get to the library to get some forms printed out i need to fill out but I think i am going to skip that at the moment. it is hard enough for me to walk with no obstructions. and walk9ing that far on a nice day is like having a thousand daggers in my legs. walking in this shit... nope nope nope.
fenumendil
~fenumendil
Oy
