i suffer from panic disorder myself.. it's pretty awful indeed

I feel for you. I had some nasty anxiety attacks while I was swapping medications and I completely understand how frustrating and how upsetting the issue can be.

Even when you realize "there's no reason to be upset" that only makes it worse... "Am I going to be ok? Why am I worrying so much? I can't be healthy if I worry this much! I'm shortening my lifespan by stressing out so much, oh my god, there's people here, they'll think I'm a screwup if I make any noise to alert them to me... I've got to get the fuck out of here, somewhere safe. Fuck, where the hell do I go, what the hell!? GAH, there's nothing to worry about, but I'm worrying, I'm so screwed up, jesus fucking christ I need to leave! Where the fuck can I go? I can't get out of here without drawing attention, I have nowhere to go and I'm dying."

It's kind of rough.... To put it mildly.

yeah, that's why i became agoraphobic for the most part

post traumatic stress and had a couple of days with my own times of depression. I know what it feels like.

I've never experienced post traumatic stress, though I understand the depth and destructive nature of depression almost as well as I can say I understand any emotion. I do not know the causes all the time, but I understand the feelings and some of the spiralling that can occur.

I can only say that it's hard dealing with depression with no identifiable source, I can only imagine what it must be like if there were something to pin it on and you were a victim. That would make things simpler in some ways and much, much, much more complicated and hurtful in others (if you understand what I mean.) And this is just speaking from my own viewpoint who knows if I actually even have that down right.

I can only speak for myself, but it sounds like you're done with your depression and so I congratulate you. Not an easy hole to crawl out of.

yeah it was pretty hard...but the the least likely thing was the cause of my depression.....my family. I spent years with depression. Once they got a divorce and were apart, i felt like my good old self again.

it was totally odd cause i never really cared for my parents and yet it was affecting me in the biggest way

*mrphs* Wow i am glad to hear you are doing so much better now. I must say your symtoms are sounding familiar though.