Feeling like I just screw things up. I have done a lot to help my life... I miss some of my friends that I know I could have been with and been mated with...Well I don't regret my decisions. Without doing what i have done i would never have expanded. :( I realize i missed a lot of opportunities that i could of had with them. But you know what. If they cannot accept who i am fuck it. I am tired of accepting others and what they think of me. I am going to keep writing my stories. I wont let the guy who keeps invading my privacy in real life get to me. I figure if i get raped fuck it. *shrugs* If it happens it happens I will deal with it when i must. My tendencies are back again and I don't mind. I stopped really talking to anyone about them. Figured they would either go away on their own or it would get worse. I feel so bitter on ShikKit (Shadowfox8588) I try my best to be the best that i can for him. I know that i fuck up and that I cannot really be there for him. He is suffering right now and I wish i knew what to do. I have to focus on myself. I hate it but i have to. With my girlfriend i feel like running away. I am so rage-full and just torn up inside. Just wanted to vent and just get it out there...It will not make a difference what i say but at least it is something...

For you Shadow even though you think love is dropping everything and going to that person...For me it isnt me... *Looks down*I know I am being emo and if you ignore and just read what you want to I wont really be surprised but at least listen to this youtube post...not really that the guy is dying or that its for a father and daughter but more of the context of realizing that sometimes it takes a while to find out that you truely love a person....( http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=rK3O5zkF8Vo )

To all my friends thank you for being there and i know its hard for everyone right now i hope things get better for everyone.:/ I may not be able to do much for you but my thoughts and worry is there....