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I'm in need of some moral support right now (please read)
13 years ago
EDIT: I've calmed down a little bit, I think I'll be alright. Leaving this up though until I deem it necessary to remove.
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Or more along the lines of, my family needs support and I don't know how to give anything to the situation.
You see, my grandfather has had parkingson's and dementia for quite some time now, and it's started to take its' toll on his age. He's currently under constant supervision in hospital and carers are unable to fully restrain him. We're all trying our best to keep our heads, and the strange part is that I don't know how to give back to the situation.
I love my grandfather dearly, but I feel that I haven't known him that much and won't have the chance to. This may seem like a strange journal entry, but... how can I appear more sympathetic? I'm not indifferent, I just... don't feel the mix of emotions and stress that everyone else does. I could see it in his eyes that he's getting on, and I can only wish him the best. I suppose I feel that I can let him go, whereas everyone else is trying to hold on.
It's a strange feeling, like the world is spinning around you while you're in a different time and space. Simply observing the world and the way it works, letting life run its natural path. But although it pains me, I do have this... "empty" feeling about it. I feel for my grandmother, but my grandfather is going to have to say goodbye and I don't know wether I can feel a true connection in my farewell.
Sorry, FA. I may seem like I'm rambling too much about personal life, but I am scared. Not because he's dying, but because I'm watching everyone else die inside as well?
So yes. If I appear to be a little quiet lately, that's why.
=====
Or more along the lines of, my family needs support and I don't know how to give anything to the situation.
You see, my grandfather has had parkingson's and dementia for quite some time now, and it's started to take its' toll on his age. He's currently under constant supervision in hospital and carers are unable to fully restrain him. We're all trying our best to keep our heads, and the strange part is that I don't know how to give back to the situation.
I love my grandfather dearly, but I feel that I haven't known him that much and won't have the chance to. This may seem like a strange journal entry, but... how can I appear more sympathetic? I'm not indifferent, I just... don't feel the mix of emotions and stress that everyone else does. I could see it in his eyes that he's getting on, and I can only wish him the best. I suppose I feel that I can let him go, whereas everyone else is trying to hold on.
It's a strange feeling, like the world is spinning around you while you're in a different time and space. Simply observing the world and the way it works, letting life run its natural path. But although it pains me, I do have this... "empty" feeling about it. I feel for my grandmother, but my grandfather is going to have to say goodbye and I don't know wether I can feel a true connection in my farewell.
Sorry, FA. I may seem like I'm rambling too much about personal life, but I am scared. Not because he's dying, but because I'm watching everyone else die inside as well?
So yes. If I appear to be a little quiet lately, that's why.
My prayers to you, your grandparents, and your family.
*hugs*
The fact that you didn't know him all that well could be a factor in why you feel the way you do, or it could just be that you show emotions differently from your family.
In situations like this it can be very hard to help or do much of anything; I know the effects of both parkinsons and dementia and i'm sure your family is as close to him as possible, trying to get him to remember. I personally think people's information they've collected over their lifetime remains in their brains even after dementia and alzheimers strike; I just think the bridge from the mind to the mouth or body is cut, and so people cannot process the things they still know. It's a very sad disease but since he's slipping..
I think..
If there would be anything you could do, if you wanted to try and help, maybe find out what kind of things he liked to do, or what kind of animal he likes. Buy him a little stuffed animal and give it to him. Or a nice colourful flower, or even bring in some music of his era with a speaker system and play it for him. See if he responds positively. It has been said that music is a great healing tool and can actually make unresponsive people responsive again. Music sometimes does what words cannot. :) The stuffed animal? It's something very simple. I'm sure your gpa is stressed out just as much as your other family is because he doesn't know what is happening to him. Something soft and familiar that he can hug when he's scared or keep with him as something to focus on might be good for him.
Those are just personal suggestions, so you can do with them what you will. I hope you feel better in this, just know that there's nothing wrong with you. We all have different ways of mourning. -hugs-
*hug back*