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17 years ago
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"Si quid per iocum dixi, nolito in serium convertere."
("If I have said anything in jest, do not turn it into a serious thing.") -Plautus
"Si quid per iocum dixi, nolito in serium convertere."
("If I have said anything in jest, do not turn it into a serious thing.") -Plautus
Hilo, Hi: Recently, a local enviromentalist group filed a lawsuit against Pele, the ancient Hawaiian volcano goddess, for contributing to the production of greenhouse gasses for over a 25 year period, and the recent eruptions that have cast volcanic haze ("vog") over the entire state, causing respitory problems amonst many, and nearly forcing the evauations of serveral nearby towns in the area surounding Kilauea crater.
According to Sue Yu, the plaintifs' attorney, "Not even ancient gods should be exempt from EPA, and international standards." Madame Pele herself could not be reached for comment, but when the group staged a protest near the volcano, they were tragically buried under a flow of lava. In a statement, Madame Pele's attorney declared: "While my client deeply regrets this tragety, she calls into question on whom leaves a greater impact: She, of whom created this 'Aina (Land), or the insignificant creatures who rape what is rightfully hers." The lawsuit is schedualed to be dismissed.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!
According to Sue Yu, the plaintifs' attorney, "Not even ancient gods should be exempt from EPA, and international standards." Madame Pele herself could not be reached for comment, but when the group staged a protest near the volcano, they were tragically buried under a flow of lava. In a statement, Madame Pele's attorney declared: "While my client deeply regrets this tragety, she calls into question on whom leaves a greater impact: She, of whom created this 'Aina (Land), or the insignificant creatures who rape what is rightfully hers." The lawsuit is schedualed to be dismissed.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!
*laughs* now that is a good one:)
D.O.P.R
Give my regards to Pele-and please STOP tossing sexy female virgins into the volcano every year to applease the Volcano Goddess!
1. Although the ancient Hawaiians did perform human sacrifices, there is no record of the Hawaiians ever throwing virgins (female or male) into the volcano. (Just the ocasional stupid tourist. XD) Rather, sacrifices were made to the war god Ku, and the method was usually strangulation, or blugeoning, and roasting them (dead) in an underground oven ("Imu"). They dis not eat them though, Hawaiians consider cannibalism to be an abberation and an act of evil. Sacrifices to Pele are in the form of Pork, or other pork products, (I have a story about this which might be told at some later date.), fruit, and in more recent years, gin.
2. Something really did happen in Hilo on April 1st that wasn't so funny. In 1946, a earthquake off the Aleutians triggered a tsunami that killed and injured hondreds.
3. Although Hawaii-type volcanoes are "tame" and do not create pyroclastic eruptions, there are report of residents whose property is being covered by some ash, and a full blown eruption can spew firey debris. And the aforementioned "Vog" travels, affecting the entire state, especially when there are no trade winds, which can make Oahu look like LA. Which make my mother, who has sinus allergies, a VERY miserable person.
PS:
The rule pretaining to the taking of lava rocks still exists: DON'T!