i wonder where the light would have taken me if i had jumped out that window back at AIP to follow the raven that had been letting me see it all day and night.


I wonder where i would be now if i had followed my heart and taken the money from my loan refund back then and just got on a bus for Sedona

I wonder what would have happened to me if i had gotten in that van of deadheads and just left.

I wonder what would have happened to me if i had simply walked away when i was a kid like i wanted to. or when i was in highschool or college or even after college instead of always listening to people tell me no cause they always wanted me around. most of those people are not around anymore. and some tossed me away later anyway.

i hate that a part of me wants to watch everything burn so i can just walk away now. just wonder off and .... i really am not sure. paint a mountain? sculpt a forest. be a hermit on a mountain top somewhere. maybe just wander til there is no earth anymore. then i will wander the stars.