Yesterday was one of those days that no matter what the gods decided it was time you had it rough. Yes I know what you're thinking, "Here he goes on another emo rant." and truth be told you're right.

It's almost 6am here and I've barely slept a wink. I have the sounds of the air conditioner and movie playing to keep me company at this hour. I've laid here and been trying to understand how to express things I felt yesterday. And so far I've come up with zilch.

All day I've been asked if I were okay and I good the truth of yes. The only issue is I had so much come at me at once I feel my brain shut down at some point. The day started fine with a visit from a friend and after he left I was hit with drama I was not wanting. After dealing with that it left me frustrated and a good deal pissed off, nothing I couldn't handle. Next I hear from a close friend back home telling me he just got out of surgery the day before to have a nerve blocking pump implanted into his back. And if that weren't enough my mother told me over the phone her blood pressure ane blood sugar have been low which she is supposed to have both high due to her medical issues and she could barely stay awake talking to me.

On top of all this I'm dealing with life as it is with job searching etc. So much is riding on me right now and I'm so scared I will fail and disappoint more people.

Also it doesn't help I feel people close to me are leaving me out of the loop and I don't find out things until its too late. As well as I was confronted with an emotion today I didn't understand and did not like. I've felt it before but it was amplified with everything happening.

To those that see this I apologize for yet more ranting from me and to those close to me I apologize for my inability to do what is needed of me.

Perhaps its my own over thinking like usual, letting my mind over work, but anyway I will deal with it all in stride.

Again do forgive my ranting.

Khaos of Envy signing off for now.