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My farewell
17 years ago
I've lost everything. In a matter of hours, I have lost nearly everyone important to me.
The story:
Kitsuneyoukai has been in Canada with Foxon. As he was leaving, I felt hurt by Foxon's latest journal, and tried desperately for him to contact me. After Kitsune left, I got my wish...
I told foxon exactly what had been happening, Cat had been sleeping with me, and that Kit has been lying for the past 6 months.
Shortly before Kitsune left, I bought him a plushie. It was a cute red fox that I had been looking for forever. I sent it to to show that I cared. After this...I fear for its fate...I can never forgive myself for that...all it wanted to do was love him...and he's probably destroyed it.
Well, back to the issue, Foxon was depressed at this, to the point of being suicidal. Being the person that I am, I spend the next few days trying to cheer him up, completely putting aside my schoolwork to be with him. I need to mention that I cannot afford to fail any classes this quarter...in fact, I can't afford less than 2 'B's at most if I want to stay... I gave that all up to cheer him up and save his life. This includes a four hour yiff. These were the best four hours of my life. I fell in love with the fox. We Spent the next few days very close, the best of friends...and he actually returned my feelings.
We spent four to six hours skyping, just talking about our feelings...I HUGGED my computer for the first time out of love for him.
Then Kit came home...and my life shattered like a window hit by a stone. First, Foxon showed him the pictures he took of Cat's shattered portrait which he worshiped. Foxon cried his eyes out. I was forced to sit there and say nothing while Kitsune made him wish he was dead, and threaten suicide again. I eventually spoke up. This just made Kitsune more angry. He said he wished me dead. Furthermore, he decided to break my spirit more by saying Cat hated me...while he claimed he left her with me while he was gone.
He then turned the tables on Foxon, forcing HIM to beg forgiveness. Kit eventually accepted this, on the condition that he never speak to me again, and he worship that picture again...Foxon accepted, and hurt himself on the shattered glass.
But it gets worse...After he was told of my yiff with Foxon, he lost it completely. He told me to kill myself...and what's worse, he asked me to record it. Then he spent the next 20 minutes asking if I was dead yet. It boiled down to Foxon begging Kitsune not to take him back. If Kitsune said he wouldn't, Foxon said he'd sleep out in the cold, with nothing but a staff to comfort him...He then threw aside my our love, claiming it wasn't him, and he regrets it.
I tried to show Foxon that this wasn't a healthy relationship...that Kit was hurting him...It was as easy to see as his tears. I told him I would never force him to suffer that for love...
I spent the next few minutes crying to myself and sending him messages that he would ignore. I then left my room, crying and trying to find a church that would be open at 3 in the morning, so I could pray for both Foxon's happiness and health, and Kitsune's soul.
I wandered the city for half an hour, then cried into my pillow for 20 minutes before messaging Foxon again. I told him that even though he abandoned me, I would never abandon him. He blocked me after that comment. So, in a matter of hours, I lost Kit, Cat, and foxon. three of my closest friends. Two of which wish me dead, and the third wishes whatever will get the first two to love him again.
Some reward this is... I try to save his life only to hear: "You fucked him up, now go kill yourself!"
With this, I've lost my friends, loved ones, and my ability and will to write. While I can assure everyone that I will not grant Kitsune's wish that I die, I won't be returning again. Goodbye everyone.
The story:
Kitsuneyoukai has been in Canada with Foxon. As he was leaving, I felt hurt by Foxon's latest journal, and tried desperately for him to contact me. After Kitsune left, I got my wish...
I told foxon exactly what had been happening, Cat had been sleeping with me, and that Kit has been lying for the past 6 months.
Shortly before Kitsune left, I bought him a plushie. It was a cute red fox that I had been looking for forever. I sent it to to show that I cared. After this...I fear for its fate...I can never forgive myself for that...all it wanted to do was love him...and he's probably destroyed it.
Well, back to the issue, Foxon was depressed at this, to the point of being suicidal. Being the person that I am, I spend the next few days trying to cheer him up, completely putting aside my schoolwork to be with him. I need to mention that I cannot afford to fail any classes this quarter...in fact, I can't afford less than 2 'B's at most if I want to stay... I gave that all up to cheer him up and save his life. This includes a four hour yiff. These were the best four hours of my life. I fell in love with the fox. We Spent the next few days very close, the best of friends...and he actually returned my feelings.
We spent four to six hours skyping, just talking about our feelings...I HUGGED my computer for the first time out of love for him.
Then Kit came home...and my life shattered like a window hit by a stone. First, Foxon showed him the pictures he took of Cat's shattered portrait which he worshiped. Foxon cried his eyes out. I was forced to sit there and say nothing while Kitsune made him wish he was dead, and threaten suicide again. I eventually spoke up. This just made Kitsune more angry. He said he wished me dead. Furthermore, he decided to break my spirit more by saying Cat hated me...while he claimed he left her with me while he was gone.
He then turned the tables on Foxon, forcing HIM to beg forgiveness. Kit eventually accepted this, on the condition that he never speak to me again, and he worship that picture again...Foxon accepted, and hurt himself on the shattered glass.
But it gets worse...After he was told of my yiff with Foxon, he lost it completely. He told me to kill myself...and what's worse, he asked me to record it. Then he spent the next 20 minutes asking if I was dead yet. It boiled down to Foxon begging Kitsune not to take him back. If Kitsune said he wouldn't, Foxon said he'd sleep out in the cold, with nothing but a staff to comfort him...He then threw aside my our love, claiming it wasn't him, and he regrets it.
I tried to show Foxon that this wasn't a healthy relationship...that Kit was hurting him...It was as easy to see as his tears. I told him I would never force him to suffer that for love...
I spent the next few minutes crying to myself and sending him messages that he would ignore. I then left my room, crying and trying to find a church that would be open at 3 in the morning, so I could pray for both Foxon's happiness and health, and Kitsune's soul.
I wandered the city for half an hour, then cried into my pillow for 20 minutes before messaging Foxon again. I told him that even though he abandoned me, I would never abandon him. He blocked me after that comment. So, in a matter of hours, I lost Kit, Cat, and foxon. three of my closest friends. Two of which wish me dead, and the third wishes whatever will get the first two to love him again.
Some reward this is... I try to save his life only to hear: "You fucked him up, now go kill yourself!"
With this, I've lost my friends, loved ones, and my ability and will to write. While I can assure everyone that I will not grant Kitsune's wish that I die, I won't be returning again. Goodbye everyone.
I yiffed him to save his life. I still love him. And I still pray for you both.
If you ever recover... I hope you know that a lot of things happen. It would be sad to give up on what you enjoy just because of a heart shattering event but then again I can't say how that feels nor will I try to talk you out of it. I wish you good luck in the future and try to live.
no... go die... you yiffed my mate and stole first moments from me and foxon to share together... i'll want nothing more then to spit on your roting hide.