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*If you know me, please read this*
13 years ago
The following post deals with sickness, death, and other sad and potentially triggering subjects. I would like you to read it anyway, but I wanted to give fair warning to those that may not be in an appropriate state of mind to simply glance across it in their browsing.
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Paxil has been diagnosed with cancer. Two weeks ago a 2-inch mass appeared suddenly on her tongue. It was biopsied, and discovered to be a malignant melanoma running all the way through the muscle. It is an aggressive and treatment-resistant form of the disease, and had probably formed deep in the tissue before coming to the surface. Her prognosis is essentially the same with treatment or without, and so I’ve decided to spare her the side effects of chemo or waste her precious remaining time making her recover from surgery. We don’t know exactly how long she has, but it is most likely a time span expressible in months.
As many of you know, Paxil and I have been together for over 13 years. She was my service dog for the majority of those years. You may have met her at Anthrocon or Furfright. Without her, I don’t know where I would be. I certainly wouldn’t have a university degree, and there’s a good chance that I wouldn’t be alive at all. She is my partner, my angel.
In the coming days we can treat the infections that come with the cancer, and give her pain relief when she needs it. Right now, she is eating, drinking, wagging, and enjoying her daily walks. When that stops being true, I will have to make the decision to let her go. I don’t expect that I will deal with this very well. I’m not dealing with it well now.
I know some of those reading this love her as well, and I wanted to make this post so that you can grieve in your own ways. I am also posting to let you know that I may not be at my best over the coming weeks and months. Thank you for understanding.
And if the phrase “it's just a dog” exists in your vocabulary, I’d like to ask you to kindly go fuck yourself.
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Paxil has been diagnosed with cancer. Two weeks ago a 2-inch mass appeared suddenly on her tongue. It was biopsied, and discovered to be a malignant melanoma running all the way through the muscle. It is an aggressive and treatment-resistant form of the disease, and had probably formed deep in the tissue before coming to the surface. Her prognosis is essentially the same with treatment or without, and so I’ve decided to spare her the side effects of chemo or waste her precious remaining time making her recover from surgery. We don’t know exactly how long she has, but it is most likely a time span expressible in months.
As many of you know, Paxil and I have been together for over 13 years. She was my service dog for the majority of those years. You may have met her at Anthrocon or Furfright. Without her, I don’t know where I would be. I certainly wouldn’t have a university degree, and there’s a good chance that I wouldn’t be alive at all. She is my partner, my angel.
In the coming days we can treat the infections that come with the cancer, and give her pain relief when she needs it. Right now, she is eating, drinking, wagging, and enjoying her daily walks. When that stops being true, I will have to make the decision to let her go. I don’t expect that I will deal with this very well. I’m not dealing with it well now.
I know some of those reading this love her as well, and I wanted to make this post so that you can grieve in your own ways. I am also posting to let you know that I may not be at my best over the coming weeks and months. Thank you for understanding.
And if the phrase “it's just a dog” exists in your vocabulary, I’d like to ask you to kindly go fuck yourself.
As much as she comforted you through your years, I know that in her twilight she'll be well cared for, and her life will be with as little pain and as much love as possible. I'm sure she's happy to have spent her life with such a good person as yourself.
*hugs* I miss you guys.Get on a damn boat and come hug me in person goddamnit.
One thing I want to do is talk to Octopodicon about starting a fund to help service dogs who need medical attention. This is the second one this year.
She was a huge fan of Furp, which was a significant thing. She is very picky about people - the vast vast vast majority of them are just furniture in her eyes. If she likes someone straight away, you know that they are good people. You really can't argue with her taste.
I don't know if you're aware of some of the organizations that offer financial help for service dog medical problems -- hope you don't mind if I past the list here in case someone else knows of a person with a service dog who has medical issues.
/www.iaadp.org/iaadp-membership-benefits-vcp.html
/www.themagicbulletfund.org/
/www.thepetfund.com/
/www.aahahelpingpets.org/
/www.banfieldcharitabletrust.org/about-us/faqs/
(I'm such a "mom" type... really am. worry about everyone.)
I am glad Paxil is still in good spirits and I hope she manages to stay that way through this. When the end comes, one way or another, you have my condolences. I'm sure that in the mean time, she's glad she has to you take care of her.
Some geneticist really needs to breed a tortoise with a dog - then we wouldn't have to deal with this. Of course, then the dog would have to deal with losing us, and that wouldn't be fair. Death just sucks, I think is the point.