Rather harsh.

I don't really get the poly thing, but keep in mind many people don't get the "gay thing" either. I understand that you see them as less dedicated, but there could very well be polyamorous couples who feel as intimate as you do with 2.

As far as federal recognition...I don't know. One step at a time, I guess.

Please don't blame poly couples for the oppressive actions of the right-wing nutjobs who want to take away your rights.

Agree with you here too. It's just a bit harsh. Fact is, humans along with a lot of other animals, are not actually monogamous. Polygamy is quite natural. While bringing it into the political spectrum might be kinda limiting or stupid, I would still say that, denying the idea that polygamy does exist, can work, and is still a loving commitment, I find to be quite a douche-bag perspective. I mean, if monogamy works for you, or a lot of people even, then great! If it's the primary way our culture is formatted to work? Then great! Cool have fun. But this idea that polygamy is fake, not true love, or not possible, is not only bullshit, but it's patronizing to human nature, especially in a tribal sense.

People say "wolves mate for life." The truth is, no, they don't. They just don't live long enough to develop a fuller connection network, and are focused on survival primarily.

I think you mean Polyamorous, not Polygamous. Polyamorous is the love of many, Polygamous is the practice of one man having multiple wives. (Oh, and Polyandrous, or Polyandry, is the practice of one woman having multiple husbands.)

I know what you meant, but there's a world of difference between them!

Thanks for the clarification :3

I know poly couples who are marrying their primary. They only want that relationship to be recognized for protection and i dont have a problem with that. As i said, if you are poly... groovy.. when you are trying to attach your style of relationship status to the gay rights movement (many are infact) ya need to diaf.

Well okay then. I can agree there. But your journal is much more harsh then what your comment reply just stated.

I see no reason why they should be denied any more rights than anyone else.

Now, are they helping? Probably not. Should they stay out of the spotlight till we get gay rights more widely accepted? Perhaps. But they aren't the root of the problem; it's the bigots who want to deny EVERYONE rights that we should be most concerned about.

I can agree that a polygamous relationship that's not properly handled, or is developed very shortly, is complete bullshit. But then again, there are movie stars that get married and then divorce less than 24 hours later. In the end, to me, people just love other people. There's no gender involved, there's no labels involved, there's no restrictions. People just love other people and that's that. While I can understand polygamy in the political spectrum is harmful at this time, I will not say it does not deserve a spot in it's own right. For me, I'm just a loving person, and I care very much for the people I'm involved with. I don't restrict it because I don't feel the need to. They all matter more to me than my own life and they're the same to me. I have very personal individual connections with each and never put limits or throttles on those connections unless there's toxicity for another reason. I just find it's a more positive way to live, maybe that's just me.

Oh, and another thing. Not everyone focuses on "RELATIONSHIPS." I mean, it seems to be the thing in mainstream culture. Are you taken or are you free? Do you have a boyfriend or are you single? In the end, for me especially, and many of the people I am very close to. We don't even think about relationships, definitions, limits, or group identifications. We just love each other and that's all that matters. Some of the "relationships" I'm in (if you really wana call it that) are not even sexual in any way, and are purely based on a psychological connective tissue so to speak, that is developed over time. You don't decide you're in a relationship, you find out you're already in one.

Agreed 100%. I always have to explain to people that I'm not "looking," it just happens when it happens. And if it "happens" with multiple people, of people of any gender or race or nationality...so be it.

Bro, I stand with ya in being able to love how you want to love, with who you want to love.

There is already a definition of what you describe. Its called "playing the field"

"Playing the field" is when you spend time "getting to know" many different people in preparation for finding a "special someone" to settle down with. That's not at all what ctcwired was describing.

Hear! Hear! I used to have a friend who claimed she was poly but that didn't go well for any of us. She claimed she was wiccan too, but that doesn't mean she was. The things on her alter just didn't look right to me. Sure, having love for lots of people is great, and boinking when you're in the mood is great, but neither of those mean you are truly in love with any of those people. It just means, really, that you're kinda flaky. Anyway, those are my thoughts.

It can mean that. Or it can mean that you do actually have love for those people.

Your friend is not indicative of all poly couples.

Sso your friend claimed sshe wass Wiccan, but you ssay sshe'ss not becausse her ALTAR doessn't look right? That'ss like ssaying ssomeone issn't gay becausse their underwear iss the wrong colour, even though they claim to be gay. I quesstion your logic. >_>

Isn't this just a "My relationship is better than yours" post? The same kind of excuse conservatives use to ban gay marriage. "That's not love! It's sinful and wrong! They don't deserve the right to marry and have benefits, and you can't convince me otherwise." What you said looks very similar. And remember, not everyone gets high fives for banging more than one person. Some get severely ostracized for it. Why do you think words like whore and slut still exist, and don't have a positive connotation to them?

I am not pissy or anything, because relationships are foreign to me. I'm asexual and focus more on learning new things rather than looking for love. However, I'm a "to each his own" kind of guy. I also agree that those who mock you and 2 are foolish, but it seems like you are doing the same thing back to them. If it's wrong for them to mock your relationship, isn't it just as wrong to mock theirs? Just something to think about, I guess.

<3

+1

Thank you for posting this, so I don't have to. +1!

You're welcome. I'm glad that my point got recognized by a few people. It's great!

This is a very well thought out point. This definitely got me thinking more in depth about the subject. Kudos to you!

Wow! Thanks! It's nice to make a good point.

well that was a good read. Polys should back off or what they should do is put their religion down as the one that has the multiple wives and there ya go mirrage problem solved.

I think you should read "Sex at Dawn," it might help you understand why people behave they way they do. It's only $10 on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Preh...../dp/0061707805

I totally respect your opinions, I just think you're being a bit daft. You're also coming off as an asshole, and this troubles me, since I know you're not an asshole.

Agreed. Toast is better than this.

I dont have true contempt, just... opinions =) love ya all.. I disagree but it NEVER means that I am right. ;) you know me well enough to know that

Hehe :3

Dude. This is America right?

Freedom of Speech bro. If they want to argue their corner then that's their call - just like you feeling the way you do is yours <3

It bugs me when people respond to a thread just to say 'I don't care', but bare with me when I state the following.

I don't care.

What I mean by that, I don't care whether someone has one mate or five, whether they are gay, bi or straight. Whether they want to have vigorous sex three times a day or one five minute fumble a week. I don't care, so long as it remains their private business.

Should the proponants of polyamoury get marriage/tax benefits the same way that gay people are asking for? Personally I'd think it would be a very difficult situation to ajudicate, so until someone could put forward a decent proposal about how it would work fairly and simply, I'd be more inclined to say no. After all, two men or two women getting married is rather similar to a man and a woman getting married, while three men and four women getting married, or even two men and one woman, is rather different purely from a numerical point of view. ^^ Does a genuine three, four or more-way romance count less as a relationship than a 'normal' relationship though? Why not. It's not impossible to believe that some threesomes love one another more than many married two person couples (just look at divorce statistics!), and while it would certainly be more complex from an interpersonal point of view... if it works for them, so be it.

Bottom line, I can kinda understand why you're thinking the way you are, especially if such people have mocked you for being in a closed relationship. But I don't agree, quite simply because I don't care what others do to make their relationships work, just so long as it makes them happy and doesn't try to shove itself down anyone elses throat unnecessarily. :)

We call people like that Mormons.

Poly relationships don't neccesarily mean one-man-multiple-wife, mormon relationships.

I prefer man on wife on horse on wife on man on alien on lawnmower relationships.

Haha, as long as the horse is okay with that...

But seriously, there ARe plenty of dedicated polygamous couples out there. Sure, they have a higher rate of breaking up, and it might not make sense to most people, but they DO deserve rights just as much as anyone else, and judging them is taking a big step backwards.

I support anything that contributes to the moral degradation of society and the destruction of pointless moral codes imposed by religious or philosophical dogma.

I also support Bagel Bites. Them shits are awesome. Pizza? On a motherfucking bagel.

And whoever mentioned that up there about the "mocking of closed relationships," I think that may likely be a cause of his resentment.

The fact is, though, that most poly people are completely fine with one-on-one relationships - they just don't prefer them.

I must reiterate, because it's important: The BIGOTS are the one holding you back. Not polyamorous people.

holding me back from what? O_o

Holding back the gay rights movement which you are a part of :3. You see polyamorous advocates as "holding you back" from gaining your rights, when they're just trying to do the same thing you are. Perhaps you don't understand it, but then again, half the country doesn't understand homosexuality as well.

And again, I'm not saying they aren't making it harder for you, and maybe they shuld stay quiet until gays have equality. But to critizize them is taking your frustration out on the wrong people.

It's the right-wing bigots who are the REAL problem here. Without them, LGBT, poly's, and many more peole would gain all the rights they're entitled too.

Wait, so you're saying people are deriding you for not practicing their own prefered lifestyle? I thought that was the Religious Right's schtick.

One gryphon, one bunny sounds good to me ^^

Though personaly I do prefer the frends with benifits to the older 'exist for one person and one person alone' model ^^ maybe when I mature I'll change my mind on that though ^^

I'm fine with one raccoon as my mate. Nothing wrong with having more raccoons--or any other species, really--but for me, I would be afraid of one mate being "neglected" compared to other partners, or there be a competition to be "1st Mate," if such a thing existed.
But...if people are happy being in a group relationship, and it works, kudos to them. After all, they do have precedence in the animal kingdom.

As a polyamorous pansexual I feel that this is one of those topics that I should respond to, but also I want to respect your views as well. Its definitely not something many people can understand or get behind anyway. But this is also coming from a person who believes that the true meaning of marriage in itself gets lost on too many people today whether it be because of money or morality's sake. Therefor I'm probably not the best person to bitch about the subject anyway :P

The most important thing to remember though is that love is love... and that all things must remain groovy forever

Kudos for speaking your mind Toast!

I would agree that most people who claim the label of "Poly" are doing so probably in a manner which maybe doesn't necessitate a marriage license for everyone involved. HOWEVER, I have seen instances in the past of threesomes or sometimes even foursomes which live as any married couple does- Dedicated to each other, living in the same quarters, raising children, financially supportive, fidelity to each other, things like that. I think that a loving, committed relationship does not have to be limited to just two people at a time- it's just more complicated when it isn't, because with each person involved, there is a whole 'nother slew of variables introduced to be integrated with all the rest.

Agreed with toast.

If I may chime in.
Toast I can agree with your ideology on this.
However, I would like to make point to pretty much anyone and everyone. Freedom to any of the benefits of marriage, coupling, "union", should be however, available to everyone.
On a personal note. I do not believe in the "poly" mind set, but I have known more than my fair share. So I believe I can speak soundly when I say that they believe their love is not diminished by the amount of people they choose to love or how they choose to love them. I can understand your mindset on Polyamorous groups should not be able to claim that as a relationship status. In my opinion if you choose to marry one person or a dozen, that relationship is simply "married". End of story.

From my own point of view, I find it however disheartening at times when I feel like I have to sit down and listen to some of the issues that many people have had in the past. Make no mistake, I am not saying I do not care. However it makes my heart heavy to think that we still deal with things like "racism, homophobia, ect ect." call it what you will. It is still hate. I am in complete support of Toast's stance on this, those groups claiming polyamory make it especially difficult to have already difficult rights to attain in the name of equality. And that can and will cause people to get into an uproar. However I will openly state that many people whom I have encountered have a different idea of what being "Poly" means to them. And most of them are equally offended by some of the groups of "friends with benifits" referring to themselves as poly as it gives them in the long run, a bad name. I don't know and cannot speak for anyone hear when I ask.. why? I have known many people who refer to the "poly" life style as simply being able to love each other as life intended. When did that become "As many sexual partners as I can freely love with as much as my heart will allow"? (That is my own personal question.

But as I said before. I am going to have to agree with Toast on this. Poly couples attempting to claim the "gay rights" card makes things exceptionally difficult at times and can be extremely aggravating. And on a side note. There is no such thing as gay, bi, lesbian, tran, or straight, rights. In the end. They are just rights. And everyone is entitled to them. (Just my thoughts.)

Anywho. Feel free to flame me. ^_^ Later

Friends with benefits does not exclusively mean "fuck-buddies"

not criticizing your stance.. but polyamory is in my opinion NOT a relationship... just because its not something I agree with does NOT mean I rate people I know who participate in it any less of a person.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH_r.....feature=relmfu
Came across this video, thought it might be good to add to your terminology!