cat_on_the_couch is as sharp as a bowling ball and has a wardrobe that looks like it was created from the debris of a joint pet store/JC Penny explosion.
 jasufox holds up a conversation about as well as a soggy cardboard box and could only get people to spend time with him by catching them in the gravitational pull of his gullet.
 OmegaCoyote couldn't catch a cold in a hospital and has the same level of appeal as the cactus he just ran into.

You're all terrible and I can't stand you. And if any of you try to eat me again, you're getting a frying pan to the face so hard you'll think your nose is bacon.