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Possible Breakthrough?
13 years ago
General
So, I have made a rather interesting discovery as of late. But that might need a little backstory:
Rewind a couple decades. I was always told that I had a bad singing voice and was asked (usually not politely) not to sing. Ever. Listening to the radio, I was always mystified by the fact that some guys could sing high pitched notes while I could do nothing of the sort. I decided that some people must just be able to sing because their bodies work a certain way, and that other people can't sing because their bodies don't work that same way. And that I was in the latter category. And that was the end.
Fast forward into puberty and I decided the only way I could sing was to mimic operatic singers in the baritone range. I called it my "fake opera" voice. I figured as long as I could hide behind the fact that it was a fake voice, people might leave me alone and let me sing. This went on for some time.
When the late 90s rolled around, I was re-visited by this notion that some people could sing and that I really still couldn't. The (now classic) boy-bands of Backstreet Boys and N*sync (both of which annoyed the crap out of me at the time) had guys singing in higher pitched voices. Many of my friends could sing in those exact ranges as well which further perturbed my situation; it struck me as a matter of fairness that my friends could do something I couldn't because they were gifted and I wasn't.
A few years later, when I was first starting to record music instead of just performing music, I came to the realization that people always like singers better than musicians. A couple incidents in a row, where I had performed a great piece of music, followed by someone else who performed (in all objective honesty) a mediocre piece of music but had a singer involved with it, demonstrated to me with painful clarity that regardless of how much I improved my musical talent I would never amount to much.
Move up to the semi-present, and we have last year. It was an amazing time for me, as I filled my free time with composing and arranging music with a freedom I hadn't previously experienced with music. Some of my best works and greatest accomplishments of all time took place during that period. But as time went on, the demons of the past came back to haunt me. I hit a glass ceiling with my music as I could not do what I wanted to do yet again: I had no voice to put the most important emotions into my music. There was one musical project in particular which, after 4 and a half months of working on it, I scrapped because it was trash. It was a bit heartbreaking because I had finally hit the "I can't" wall where I was physically prevented from improving because I still had no voice to sing with.
Needless to say, my musical momentum halted on a dime. I haven't been posting music with anywhere near the frequency I once had; I felt like a musical sham, a fake. I continued playing and to this day have amassed a frightening number of songs I play live, but I didn't feel like recording any of them because there was no point; I couldn't do with them what I wanted so why would anyone else want to hear them?
Now, as these things usually happen, by complete mistake, I made a very important discovery. In the car driving back from the mountains one evening, I was listening to "Stoned in Love" by Chicane & Tom Jones. As is usually the case when I'm alone, I was singing along with the music (and if you know the song, the range that Mr. Jones possesses is incredible), when I suddenly had a moment when I realized I could develop resonance while singing super high by modifying how my throat constricted. In a flash, I suddenly understood how guys can sing high and maintain good vocal quality.
So, this probably doesn't (necessarily) mean that much for the future. I still have years and years and years of psychological stuff to get over to improve my confidence in singing, and I'm inferring that I suddenly have this awesome Tom Jones-style voice. I don't. But I'd like to think this might be a rather important turning point in my music and in my life as a musician.
I guess the TLDR is:
Keep on trying: you never know what you will learn tomorrow that might change the rest of your life. It took me 30 years to find this out; it's never too late to have a game-changer.
Rewind a couple decades. I was always told that I had a bad singing voice and was asked (usually not politely) not to sing. Ever. Listening to the radio, I was always mystified by the fact that some guys could sing high pitched notes while I could do nothing of the sort. I decided that some people must just be able to sing because their bodies work a certain way, and that other people can't sing because their bodies don't work that same way. And that I was in the latter category. And that was the end.
Fast forward into puberty and I decided the only way I could sing was to mimic operatic singers in the baritone range. I called it my "fake opera" voice. I figured as long as I could hide behind the fact that it was a fake voice, people might leave me alone and let me sing. This went on for some time.
When the late 90s rolled around, I was re-visited by this notion that some people could sing and that I really still couldn't. The (now classic) boy-bands of Backstreet Boys and N*sync (both of which annoyed the crap out of me at the time) had guys singing in higher pitched voices. Many of my friends could sing in those exact ranges as well which further perturbed my situation; it struck me as a matter of fairness that my friends could do something I couldn't because they were gifted and I wasn't.
A few years later, when I was first starting to record music instead of just performing music, I came to the realization that people always like singers better than musicians. A couple incidents in a row, where I had performed a great piece of music, followed by someone else who performed (in all objective honesty) a mediocre piece of music but had a singer involved with it, demonstrated to me with painful clarity that regardless of how much I improved my musical talent I would never amount to much.
Move up to the semi-present, and we have last year. It was an amazing time for me, as I filled my free time with composing and arranging music with a freedom I hadn't previously experienced with music. Some of my best works and greatest accomplishments of all time took place during that period. But as time went on, the demons of the past came back to haunt me. I hit a glass ceiling with my music as I could not do what I wanted to do yet again: I had no voice to put the most important emotions into my music. There was one musical project in particular which, after 4 and a half months of working on it, I scrapped because it was trash. It was a bit heartbreaking because I had finally hit the "I can't" wall where I was physically prevented from improving because I still had no voice to sing with.
Needless to say, my musical momentum halted on a dime. I haven't been posting music with anywhere near the frequency I once had; I felt like a musical sham, a fake. I continued playing and to this day have amassed a frightening number of songs I play live, but I didn't feel like recording any of them because there was no point; I couldn't do with them what I wanted so why would anyone else want to hear them?
Now, as these things usually happen, by complete mistake, I made a very important discovery. In the car driving back from the mountains one evening, I was listening to "Stoned in Love" by Chicane & Tom Jones. As is usually the case when I'm alone, I was singing along with the music (and if you know the song, the range that Mr. Jones possesses is incredible), when I suddenly had a moment when I realized I could develop resonance while singing super high by modifying how my throat constricted. In a flash, I suddenly understood how guys can sing high and maintain good vocal quality.
So, this probably doesn't (necessarily) mean that much for the future. I still have years and years and years of psychological stuff to get over to improve my confidence in singing, and I'm inferring that I suddenly have this awesome Tom Jones-style voice. I don't. But I'd like to think this might be a rather important turning point in my music and in my life as a musician.
I guess the TLDR is:
Keep on trying: you never know what you will learn tomorrow that might change the rest of your life. It took me 30 years to find this out; it's never too late to have a game-changer.
the current theme of my existance is don't let anybody tell you that you can't do something.
hopefully I can unlock the same ability!
*wags happily* And your discovery is soo awesome!!
I started taking singing lessons about 10 months ago, and the instructor was all about exercises on how to shape your mouth while singing... and he was exactly right! It makes a _world_ of difference!
If you really want to sing, I know in my heart that you can learn.
But you are such a wonderful pianist... I'd think you could make beautiful music with others and have more fun than doing everything yourself? *wagwags*
Plus, some emotions are just too strong to remain silent; even if there are no words, that soaring of the mind when your own voice fills the upper expanse... magical, indeed.