It's been a really long week. I still want to sit down and finish those gifts for my friends, but the tattoo shop has been SWALLOWING my time with my last two projects, and in the evenings im devoured by working at the shitting Burger hell. That and my relationship is basically being put on hold or whatever when he moves to florida for schooling..which will probably take a max of 5 years, bc A) this kid still doesnt have his shit together to pay for the schooling B) has prior loans to pay off, C) has prior fines tickets and insurance to pay off D) needs to be employed when he gets down there and E) needs to split rent with a friend on an apartment. There's nothing I can do...and at this point I don't even care. bc that all right there^ is way too many odds stacked high above me ever getting to see, hold, love, kiss, or be with this guy ever again...

we're just really delaying the pain right now.

oh did i mention that all that time he spends getting his shit together...we're supposed to be just friends? Yeah. what the hell ever. I'm pissed off. happy. upset. oh and irritated. All in one, but I give off such a strong energy field that I need to mask it...or everyone around me will start being crazy moody... (the majority of people I know are what I call feeders. when i put out good vibes they get super happy and upbeat...but negative ones turn them into monstrosities, like myself. when i was much younger i practised sending false energies toward people to see what the effects were...I now know that I am a badass at it...except when Im completely distraught....like so^ then I need to hide it and keep it in check)

I don't know what to do anymore...I don't even care. Whatever. I'm losing him...

this love bullshit is more fucking overrated than growing up. whatever. Bitten is now open to sexually explicit images to the public(meaning ill whore her out idc anymore)

her image has also changed bc I am already back in my armor. and I will keep the rights and ownership of the old design...when i feel safe again with anyone Ill go back to that design. But for now. everyone fucking bite me. I don't need your bullshit "i love yous' bc eventually you wont be saying them anymore, youll be leaving me for someone else, something better, or youll just be a plain fucking bore




i really think maybe im just meant to be single or something. im good as a pack alpha... but i fucking hate everything that comes with being mated right now ><I GO TO WORK NAO