Lately, I've been having nightmares about a huge mistake I'd made in the past...whenever I'd thought I'd gotten over it, I end up having a nightmare involving one of the other people involved in that mistake. I then wake up nearly suicidally depressed, and want to go talk to that person, even though I know it just won't help.

You see, about three years ago, ~something~ happened between a good friend of mine and me--someone who is actually a member of FA, but I won't mention any names. It came as an enormous shock to me...I guess I couldn't handle a downgrade from "friends with cyber benefits" to just "friends". I flew off the handle and said a bunch of stuff out of shock, frustration, and heartbreak to the third person involved in the incident that would lead to the friendship coming to an abrupt and permanent (it seems) end...that was the mistake.

Making mistakes is entirely normal, this much is true. And I've learned well from this mistake...the next four guys who'd rejected me are still my friends...but I still can't seem to let go of that mistake. As stated before, just when I think I'm finally over it, I have some sort of nightmare that just breaks me down again.

If either of the people mentioned in this journal entry (you know who you are) is reading this...thank you for sticking around long enough to read through it. I'm not asking either of you to consider being friends with me again. All I'm asking is for sincere forgiveness, and hopefully I can finally move on with my life.

On a lighter note, next Sunday is my 22nd birthday. Yee!