Meow... Long time haven't talk... ( a tear comes down ) mew... lately I try to be what I was.. all cute and nice... but the pain its still there... that's how I already loss 3 of my most big friends... only for being too lovable? Instantly makes me fall... instantly makes me fear... fear of love and fear of what its inside it.... I just don't know... I just cant see what was truly the love, it was not to give yourself to some one and love it with all you have? or its to not show many feelings.. and just be like a cold rock on a swamp filled up in many different things, representing emotions and ideas that fly by and that you want them to land on your rock... but you most keep them aside to be one with the swamp you so much love... ( well maybe I don't explain myself very well, sorry ) but... in short words... I am just... afraid of love again, because what ever I do.. I already know I will lose him/her in short time.. for what ever reason ( ears drops ). I am afraid of losing more friends... I am afraid of having problems just by the way I FINALLY felt so free... Now what to do.... should I stay white and be free and finally out of the jail inside my head... or be black... and be jailed not only inside my head... but inside my heart... and never be able to scape again... ( falls on the ground )

I am not saying I am giving up... but I just... am too injured... What I was once... the moon upon the nights... and those person my stars.. that its fading away... and I want so badly to regain that.. but would I just pushing others to end in tragedy? mew...

I feel like I want to hide... to not be discovered... and... to not... let others down ever again... mew ( cires and hides