Let me explain. First of all, I'm not breaking up with my mate. THAT is for sure. Second, I watched the final Harry Potter movie ending, and it got me thinking... Do I want a child? Third, where do I even see myself in 7 years? What's gonna happen?
To start off, I have dreams like everybody else. But it feels so weird. When I became 18, I was having so much fun. I was not giving a shit about anything that would try to bring me down. And at the time, I was not thinking about my future at all... But now it is July, and things have changed ever since last month... Now, I have more responsibilities than ever and for some odd reason, and I don't feel so stressed as I used to be. What happened to me? Recently, I have been more responsible than I should be. In fact, I woke up around 10 in the morning, and I took my Adderall without being reminded. Nobody told me I had to do it; I just did it...
I should also mention about college. I start college on August 27, and it seems so confusing. I'm still trying to get my permit, and it will be a while to get my driver's license. I might get it by the end of the year or maybe next year.. but during that time, I have to plan out how to get to college via bus routes, though it would cost me. Plus, I have been told I have to also get another job that is worth meaning to helping me out because I'm rather low on money.
I also was thinking about where I see myself in the future, like I said. Am I going to be in a different county? City? State? Country?? Clearly I will be with my mate at that time, but it would feel weird on my part. I understand that being an adult is different than being below 18 years of age, but I didn't expect this new stage in my life to be THIS different.
Finally, I was thinking about my child. Would I be able to have the child or not? What will he be like despite me and my mate having slight disabilities? What would my parents think of me? To be honest, I'm pretty sure they'll be so happy if they were alive. And then there is naming the child. Me and my mate have so many possibilities of names. I would prefer something either Persian or Irish/British/French, anywhere around those lines.
You see, so many things could happen as time goes on, and I don't know if I'm even ready for all of this. Here's what I am gonna do. I'm not gonna worry about everything about my future right now, I'm just gonna stick to the present and keep going until the time is right. Until 7 or 8 years later, things might be different, but I'm willing to tackle it head-on. But until then, I will just think all of this very thoroughly until I feel certain I'm gonna make this one event in my life happen.