i dont usually read journals, let alone post them... the first/last one i read was about sairo and his mate decided to end their relationship... don't know them personally, but was a rather sad day for me, one of those, thought they'd make it for life *sigh* was after my mate left me i read that, made me feel like there was no hope of me and my mate reconciling...

we have since tried, *sighs* anyone who knows me knows i am the most patient, understanding guy around, and i don't post anything hardly, a pic now and again to here or fb (fb way over rated by most)

on to y i have decided to post, if any one has a "pick-me-up" i could really use it, i woke up so depressed i just want to die, i don't feel anyone will miss me or even be affected that i was gone, i know that's not true, but i can't seem to shake it, i'm still fighting back tears... again, those who know me know there is only 1 thing i have ever cried over... when my mate left. it's been 5 years, y cant i get over it? i haven't even been able to find a decent job since he left, i held 4/5 jobs to support my mate and i, i can not function like this.

if u took the time to read this, ty
if u want to msg me or anything, 928 301 0208 <--cell, txt or msg through any messenger, i'll b here