and im stuck here in goddamn florida... i will get back home right around 20 days after theyve played, and FML im still gonna be here, sweating my balls off, missing the one-time opportunity that is this band coming to a small town like fairbanks, alaska..... god.... dammit...

and really its not even that im missing seeing them play, i could probably take leave sometime when their touring again and watch them play and yada, yada... but it's more then that.. i guess its sort of the representation of what ive been missing since i joined... yes im getting the montgmery gi bill which is going to get me thorugh college, yes im going to travel to places some people only dream of going, and yes im going to call home a hundred tons of steel and guns that is a destroyer or an aircraft carrier sometime in the very near future... but ive already been in only a few months shy of a year now, i have not had a single day of leave, i have not seen my friends or family in almost a year now. and to top it all off? im the social leper of the class, i have 2 friends on base who i am lucky to see once a week because of the crazy schedules we are on.... if i hadnt joined id probably still be at my dads house, working a crap job, driving that crap car.. but i was happy damn it, and everyone is saying the navy is so great, and being on a ship is awesome, and blah blah, serve your country! blah blah.... i just dont see it.. ill be working a damn desk job, on a chunk of steel in the middle of the ocean for 9+ months... i know, i enlisted, i have 5 more years ahead of me, so... sleep where you shit right? i just wish there was a way to turn the dial back, and at the very least get myself to join the reserves.... sorry this is a long journal... peace and love everybody...