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I have some catching up to do...
13 years ago
General
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris)
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris)
In more ways than one.
I guess I should throw in a warning here...this post is going to contain depressing subject materiel. It follows the normal flow of my life.
A few weeks ago I became really ill again suddenly. I haven't quite been well in a long time now. More than two years. Life has been spinning out of control for a long time now...more than six years. Back to what I was talking about. I got really ill. My boyfriend couldn't handle it anymore. His mind was literally beginning to snap, as was mine. He went to stay with a friend, and day by day I got worse. Seven days without eating anything solid. I couldn't get it down. I began to research my symptoms online again...as I have done so many times. This time something different came up with the keywords. Black Mold...I started checking over symptom lists panic rising more and more the more I read. I was only missing 2 or 3 symptoms out of about 30. It still isn't confirmed. I match the profile though. We could find the mold in the house as well. I was soon moved out into a friends home to begin recovering a bit from all the issues I have been having.
A couple days ago I went to visit my boyfriend...and all of my symptoms returned. We began to look over the apartment, and found a crack in the bathtub. His mind was still raging. Finally a reason as to why. My boyfriend and I are now staying with the same friend.
If you want to know the gory details of what I have been living with, and what I will continue to live with feel free to look up black mold illness. In short...I suffer memory loss like a dementia patient, I am dealing with an eating disorder that is making me lose weight and body size very fast (black mold causes anorexia), and the bottom line is my exposure went on so long that I will probably test positive for some form of cancer within the next couple years...if I don't already. I only hope my boyfriend didn't get he same amount of exposure. I hope he can live long and happy. This has been one hell of a life...
and I still want to live.
So much I want to do...
and I am going to do it.
I guess I should throw in a warning here...this post is going to contain depressing subject materiel. It follows the normal flow of my life.
A few weeks ago I became really ill again suddenly. I haven't quite been well in a long time now. More than two years. Life has been spinning out of control for a long time now...more than six years. Back to what I was talking about. I got really ill. My boyfriend couldn't handle it anymore. His mind was literally beginning to snap, as was mine. He went to stay with a friend, and day by day I got worse. Seven days without eating anything solid. I couldn't get it down. I began to research my symptoms online again...as I have done so many times. This time something different came up with the keywords. Black Mold...I started checking over symptom lists panic rising more and more the more I read. I was only missing 2 or 3 symptoms out of about 30. It still isn't confirmed. I match the profile though. We could find the mold in the house as well. I was soon moved out into a friends home to begin recovering a bit from all the issues I have been having.
A couple days ago I went to visit my boyfriend...and all of my symptoms returned. We began to look over the apartment, and found a crack in the bathtub. His mind was still raging. Finally a reason as to why. My boyfriend and I are now staying with the same friend.
If you want to know the gory details of what I have been living with, and what I will continue to live with feel free to look up black mold illness. In short...I suffer memory loss like a dementia patient, I am dealing with an eating disorder that is making me lose weight and body size very fast (black mold causes anorexia), and the bottom line is my exposure went on so long that I will probably test positive for some form of cancer within the next couple years...if I don't already. I only hope my boyfriend didn't get he same amount of exposure. I hope he can live long and happy. This has been one hell of a life...
and I still want to live.
So much I want to do...
and I am going to do it.
