my essence of hatred.

the embodiment of all my hope lost.

when all sanity is lost.

the blood represents all the pain

the missing heart represents the absence of love, care and compassion

the bone tail represents death of creativity

skinny appearance represents lack of life



I don't know what the hell i'm writing
I don't know who the hell is gonna read this

but right now. i'm pissed. i'm about read to destroy everything single thing sitting in my room
i feel like disappearing into the night and leaving without a trace.
i want so badly to end my life.

i'm so tired of hearing my father tell me how great a son i am but how shitty a man i am
that i'm a loser
that i'll fail in life
that i'll get no where in life
that all i think about is fun
that all i ever do is sit on my computer all day
that all i ever do is play video games all day
that i'm pathetic

SO FUCKING TELL ME HOW I'M SO FUCKING GREAT?!?

TELL ME HOW I'M SUPPOSE TO BE THIS GREAT SON IF I'M JUST A PILE OF WORTHLESS SHIT TO SOCIETY

tell me...how i'm such a help to everyone around me
i'm sick of his words of attempted encouragement.
the encouragement you throw in with your admonishment means shit to me. i feel no love nor compassion
fuck tough love FUCKING BULLSHIT

i see why my brother left in such a hurry
fucking over bearing
fucking unreasonable and hotheaded

everything i do becomes a mission for your approval
the criticism along the way doesn't make it any better

and at the end of it all...it feels like a massacre to my pride in my creativity and ideas
...i get people's praise but your criticism

cuz i represent you...cuz it's not good enough for you...nothing ever is...it has to be to your word, your way, or else i'm just a lazy, procrastinating, waste of space/air/life...

but if i do it right?

"aren't you happy you listened to ME?"
"you see what happens when III tell you what to do?"
"III can't keep 'helping' you all the time?"

...when the FUCK did i EVER ask for YOUR help???

HOME SWEET FUCKING HOLE....HOME SWEET MOTHERFUCKING HOLE