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BE WHO YOU IS.
13 years ago
If the contents of the journal below don't concern you, don't waste my time responding :D
I was doing some thinking this morning when I woke up, (A time when I’m generally my most introspective) and I was wondering: “Why do I post so many god damned pictures of myself?”
At first I thought, “Well, I’m a 20 something gay man who just wants attention.” But no, that’s not it…well, not ALL of it anyway. And after thinking about it a while, it’s almost a form of protest for me.
I’ll explain: I’m a big guy, and that’s nothing new for me. I’ve been big ever since I was a teenager. For a while, especially with my gynecomastia (Big moobs) I felt bad about it. But I felt bad about it because of what I let other people tell me. I used to wear shirts when I would go swimming and all that shit. I was always scared I’d horrify someone, or get called shit because of these accidental qualities of my body I had no control over.
But one day I started to realize that…ya know what? We only get to go around this planet one time, and that’s it! So fuck what the other people have to say about MY body. It’s mine! It’s the only one I have to inhabit (Until robot bodies) and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be taught to hate it.
It frustrates me to no end to see other guys that I find adorable, or hot, or sexy thinking they’re gross. I’ve had people tell me they’re surprised how I carry myself with so much confidence for being a big guy. I’ve gone to nude beaches and afterwards had friends tell me they COULD NEVER DO THAT. And all I could think was…”Yeah, you totally can.” I’m no fuckin’ model, and neither was anyone else on that beach or any other! Everyone’s body is weird and gross and not quite symmetrical…just like everyone else’s! And that’s what in some weird way makes us all beautiful and interesting.
In any case, the TL;DR version of this: BE WHO YOU IS. Enjoy yourself and your body. Fuck the haters, etc. There’s gonna be someone out there who appreciates you, but even if their isn’t, appreciate yourself!
P.S. This is a rare moment of optimism for me, so go with it!
At first I thought, “Well, I’m a 20 something gay man who just wants attention.” But no, that’s not it…well, not ALL of it anyway. And after thinking about it a while, it’s almost a form of protest for me.
I’ll explain: I’m a big guy, and that’s nothing new for me. I’ve been big ever since I was a teenager. For a while, especially with my gynecomastia (Big moobs) I felt bad about it. But I felt bad about it because of what I let other people tell me. I used to wear shirts when I would go swimming and all that shit. I was always scared I’d horrify someone, or get called shit because of these accidental qualities of my body I had no control over.
But one day I started to realize that…ya know what? We only get to go around this planet one time, and that’s it! So fuck what the other people have to say about MY body. It’s mine! It’s the only one I have to inhabit (Until robot bodies) and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be taught to hate it.
It frustrates me to no end to see other guys that I find adorable, or hot, or sexy thinking they’re gross. I’ve had people tell me they’re surprised how I carry myself with so much confidence for being a big guy. I’ve gone to nude beaches and afterwards had friends tell me they COULD NEVER DO THAT. And all I could think was…”Yeah, you totally can.” I’m no fuckin’ model, and neither was anyone else on that beach or any other! Everyone’s body is weird and gross and not quite symmetrical…just like everyone else’s! And that’s what in some weird way makes us all beautiful and interesting.
In any case, the TL;DR version of this: BE WHO YOU IS. Enjoy yourself and your body. Fuck the haters, etc. There’s gonna be someone out there who appreciates you, but even if their isn’t, appreciate yourself!
P.S. This is a rare moment of optimism for me, so go with it!
P.S. Talk to me more <3
Something I've been battling throughout my lifetime. I've made some progress but I think I still have ways to go in finding that confidence in myself. :x
Granted, finding out there are guys who are attracted to fatasses like me helped a LOT, and even now it's just not as fun to be fat without someone to share it with. But despite that (and still being so ronery T^T ), I STILL like my chub, I love my bottom-heavy/pear shape and my the rest of it, and I still have a desire to see how big i can get while staying healthy.
Thanks for posting a journal like this. Besides being inspiring and sending a positive message, it helps me feel better about showing off my fatness when I do. x//3
I was beginning to wonder why both posting more pics, but your journal helps me remember I did it for ME originally, and while without feedback it does feel pointless, it's really a way that I can feel, well, beautiful.