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A few things I feel I should mention...
13 years ago
It's been another long period of time with no art and no updates in general, so now seemed to be as good a time as any to post one...
On a positive note, I still have my job and work has been keeping me busy A LOT lately, which has actually been good for 2 reasons.
1) I've been making some decent money, which is always nice.
AND...
2) It been helping me keep my mind off of shit...
For the last few months I've been putting up with this depression that comes and goes. Some days are worse than others but over all it hasn't been too bad. Only until recently however that its been a lot worse and has been consuming my thoughts more often. It mostly centers around the feelings of being directionless; not knowing what career path I want to take in life, the uncertainty of everything around me, and just the general sense of frustration I get when I see or hear about other people I went to school with succeeding and pressing forward with there lives.
My art being on hold these last few months is partially due to my busy and tiring work schedule, but a bigger part of it has been because of the aforementioned depression. I really do love working on my art with all my usual fetishes that I feature in it, but for the last little while I've just been lacking the will power to draw anything. I want to make it clear that I am NOT leaving the fandom or this site and that hope I regain the will to draw again soon.
The other thing I would like to mention is that I finally have proper internet at my house. I have for a few months now and it's been AWESOME to have regular access to it again, This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to on MSN or Skype all the time though, because of my work frequently keeping me on for double shifts, and because of the feeling of apathy and boredom I get for my recent bouts of depression I'm surprised I sign in at all some days. Which leads me to another thing I should mention about RP's...
I really do love to RP and I have a lot of really great people that I like to RP with. However its beginning to get rather annoying when to have people message me and then almost immediately phase into and RP with out even asking if I was in the mood to. Lately I REALLY haven't been in the mood all that often and even though I may play along a little and reply back, but I'm doing so to be polite most of the time. I've noticed I'm not alone and a few people have posted journals recently about this same complaint, so I would like to make the following very clear...
Though I am NOT taking a break form RPs all together, I would however really appreciate it if people would ASK ME before they start up with and RP when talking with me. By asking me first, I might also allow us to set up some sort of direction for the role play. As much as I love improvisational RPs it would be nice to start by knowing;
Who am I?! (I have a few characters, which one are you addressing?)
Who are you? (other have multiple characters too so it would be nice to know who I'm talking to with some introduction) And lastly..
Where are we, are we and what are we doing? (Have even a slight idea about the scene we are jumping into help a lot)
(One last thing on this topic which I feel needs restating) For those messaging me for the first time... People who send me a note bluntly saying "Wanna RP?" or even just "RP ?" Without ANY attempt to introduce themselves or at least say HI... I'm sorry but those people are assholes!
If you want to RP with me I want to know a little bit about the guy behind the fur... and if there isn't one then at least tell me a little about about yourself in character if you must. I really do love meeting new people and please feel free to note me, but if you're only after an RP try to engage me in a conversation first. ITS CALLED BREAKING THE ICE, PEOPLE.
Finally, I would like to apologize to those I haven't been keeping contact with as well as I should. I haven't been answering my notes or appearing on MSN for the same reasons previously mentioned (not necessarily including that bit about RPs lol) I'm not purposely ignoring anyone, I just have a bad tendency to loose track of who I was talking to after a while. So if you're reading this. Please feel free to send me a note or a shout and we'll try to get back in touch ^^
That's all for now. I'm hoping I can return to my art soon so I can resume work on my comic and other pieces I've been working on. I wouldn't say that I've been taking a break, that implies that I actually actively decided to stop for a while. I'd rather say I'm on a mental hiatus... or emotional artist block, whatever you want to call it.
Anyway anyone has some words of wisdom or encouragement, they would be greatly appreciated.
On a positive note, I still have my job and work has been keeping me busy A LOT lately, which has actually been good for 2 reasons.
1) I've been making some decent money, which is always nice.
AND...
2) It been helping me keep my mind off of shit...
For the last few months I've been putting up with this depression that comes and goes. Some days are worse than others but over all it hasn't been too bad. Only until recently however that its been a lot worse and has been consuming my thoughts more often. It mostly centers around the feelings of being directionless; not knowing what career path I want to take in life, the uncertainty of everything around me, and just the general sense of frustration I get when I see or hear about other people I went to school with succeeding and pressing forward with there lives.
My art being on hold these last few months is partially due to my busy and tiring work schedule, but a bigger part of it has been because of the aforementioned depression. I really do love working on my art with all my usual fetishes that I feature in it, but for the last little while I've just been lacking the will power to draw anything. I want to make it clear that I am NOT leaving the fandom or this site and that hope I regain the will to draw again soon.
The other thing I would like to mention is that I finally have proper internet at my house. I have for a few months now and it's been AWESOME to have regular access to it again, This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to on MSN or Skype all the time though, because of my work frequently keeping me on for double shifts, and because of the feeling of apathy and boredom I get for my recent bouts of depression I'm surprised I sign in at all some days. Which leads me to another thing I should mention about RP's...
I really do love to RP and I have a lot of really great people that I like to RP with. However its beginning to get rather annoying when to have people message me and then almost immediately phase into and RP with out even asking if I was in the mood to. Lately I REALLY haven't been in the mood all that often and even though I may play along a little and reply back, but I'm doing so to be polite most of the time. I've noticed I'm not alone and a few people have posted journals recently about this same complaint, so I would like to make the following very clear...
Though I am NOT taking a break form RPs all together, I would however really appreciate it if people would ASK ME before they start up with and RP when talking with me. By asking me first, I might also allow us to set up some sort of direction for the role play. As much as I love improvisational RPs it would be nice to start by knowing;
Who am I?! (I have a few characters, which one are you addressing?)
Who are you? (other have multiple characters too so it would be nice to know who I'm talking to with some introduction) And lastly..
Where are we, are we and what are we doing? (Have even a slight idea about the scene we are jumping into help a lot)
(One last thing on this topic which I feel needs restating) For those messaging me for the first time... People who send me a note bluntly saying "Wanna RP?" or even just "RP ?" Without ANY attempt to introduce themselves or at least say HI... I'm sorry but those people are assholes!
If you want to RP with me I want to know a little bit about the guy behind the fur... and if there isn't one then at least tell me a little about about yourself in character if you must. I really do love meeting new people and please feel free to note me, but if you're only after an RP try to engage me in a conversation first. ITS CALLED BREAKING THE ICE, PEOPLE.
Finally, I would like to apologize to those I haven't been keeping contact with as well as I should. I haven't been answering my notes or appearing on MSN for the same reasons previously mentioned (not necessarily including that bit about RPs lol) I'm not purposely ignoring anyone, I just have a bad tendency to loose track of who I was talking to after a while. So if you're reading this. Please feel free to send me a note or a shout and we'll try to get back in touch ^^
That's all for now. I'm hoping I can return to my art soon so I can resume work on my comic and other pieces I've been working on. I wouldn't say that I've been taking a break, that implies that I actually actively decided to stop for a while. I'd rather say I'm on a mental hiatus... or emotional artist block, whatever you want to call it.
Anyway anyone has some words of wisdom or encouragement, they would be greatly appreciated.
I think the best thing is to be happy that you, for one, at least have a good paying job ^^ Yeah! and ~ just flow with it, or grow with it. Don't worry about career paths or lifetime goals, you have to let those come to you in time. Just do the things that you "enjoy" doing, and who knows? the career may flesh itself out right in front of your face. If you can't take your mind off of it, I would suggest taking a piece of paper and pencil: Just start writing down a list of what you "enjoy" doing, what you "do" everyday, and what you "don't" like. It's a good starting point into opening up your ambitions and horizons...it will make you see yourself a bit clearer.
But as I said, don't Worry about it! ^^ *pats* If people constantly talk about their goals and careers, just tell them what you would "like" to get into. Or just be positive about it and ask them how they realized their own paths! It's better than being depressed and stressed, I tell ya ^^
Whurf, this is quite long, I hope it helped though! If you want, we could talk about it some more (note me if you'd like) Laters! :)
I think a lot of my problem just stem from me dwelling on it in my own head when I'm bored or alone. I find that I have a lot of people around me who are very understanding and supportive but for whatever reason I have a bad habit of just shrug off their attempts to help me. I'm one of those people who can give good advice but I rarely accept other people advice or even follow my own XD
I'm trying to get out of that mindset though and I'm making myself more open to receiving help. Already, just posting this journal has made me feel a little better because I've been able to get some of this out of my system.
Thanks again and I'll be sure to note you soon :3
Now with that said, I learned a lot even though I really hated every day I was in. One of the things that stood out most to me was that my mental perceptions of things was adaptable - I could choose to see things in different lights, if I wanted to. For instance, I know a couple people that you'd call....'glass half full' types, to be nice about it. I used to do that too - constantly letting myself concentrate on the problems and issues I might face. That leads to negativity, of course. Now I understand more about why that's bad, and I've modified my 'perceptions' a bit, and I'm actually an optimist. A realist-optimist, if that makes any sense. I do still look ahead to see any obstacles/issues/problems before they actually happen. But instead of just concentrating on finding all of them, I start solving the one's I've noticed. I'm quite obsessive about being prepared for things, and so I'm constantly looking ahead. But the mental action of solving the issues is the magic - it makes you feel better, even if they're things that never happen. And when you do encounter something you readied yourself for in advance, fixing it is easy, and it makes you feel better still.
There are lot of euphemisms for this, but I like the 'silver lining' phrase - because yeah, I do find the silver lining. In fact, that's how I became an optimist - I forced myself to find something good in every situation I found myself in - even obviously bad ones. There's always something positive, and I've not found a situation yet that didn't have something - even if it's just that you can learn for the future. But there's always something, and the more you do this, the easier it gets to find them. After a while, you don't have to concentrate on it and it becomes second nature - that's when you piss people off and get called an optimist. It's fun though - and I don't, nor have I, suffered from any depression or similar symptoms in like 10 years...actually, probably longer. Finding myself (meaning my first encounter with Furry) was what broke an until then lifelong minor depression (sometimes not so minor). That was before the Navy, and there were some dark times while I was in, but my mental state never got bad enough to be what I'd call 'depressed'. Sometimes 'grimly determined', but never just 'grim', if you know what I mean. Finding myself was the key, but that's not something anyone can help you with. But don't fret the timeline - you have the rest of your life to figure things out, including 'what you want to do when you grow up'. Hell, I didn't know that until earlier this year, and I'm sure I have at least a decade on you. So seriously, stop being so serious...not only will you feel better, but being too serious too often will make you older than you really are (being older sucks, trust me. I'm still 18, even though my drivers license says otherwise).
K Fox (has been there - and I hope you get back from there, it wasn't fun)
P.S. That first post said it was long, but its not. This wall of text is long.
K Fox
Thanks for the advice ^^ I appreciate it. I'm try hard to take good advice when it's given to me rather than ignoring it.
I've actually been feeling a lot better lately and have started doing some sketches to try and find the fun in drawing again. I've been getting distracted easily since I got better internet at home so that's been part of my problem as well
I like your 'Paw Care Tips' though I found myself getting drawn to the pics of your paws more than reading XD
But I have read some of it so far and it's very interesting.