have you ever had your heart start to flutter and beat with excitement and then for it to stop as soon as it began when you realize what you were thinking was wrong and then you just feel like a pathetic kid who was to foolish to see past their own nose ... or have you ever been so angry your heart hurts but then that anger tries to slip away but you want to hold on to it but it gets away and you now feel a empty spot in your chest ... i need to do something must get better at art to draw my ideas of awesome hero's and heroine's and stories that float in my mind i know people will like them must get my ideas out into the world and bring someone joy or sadness or some kind of emotion where people look and say wow awesome keep up the good work or just to write a great story even if there is no images to see i must paint it in words and let your imagination pave the road to myths and legends and mystic lands of glory and valor show you the deeps fears of the most daring to the most profane bring about a great happiness to myself where i can stand tall and proud and show myself what i am made of to show the world who i am and not look back to take the sadness of my life and turn it into a stepping stone and break thru my own barriers of pain and worry to push myself to my own limit to not back down and grab life so close i can taste it and kiss sorrow on the lips and taste the pain and open my eyes to a world of greatness and cry happy tears and grow stronger for it to show myself i am great because my biggest obstacle and biggest regret is myself and to seize myself in hand and slug myself so hard i break my personal reality and reforge it anew and to fill my soul with warmth and pride to be all i can see myself as to not regret anything to see my faults and revel in them for they make me well me ........ that was a good talk me we should do this again another time