Popularity is a relative term with a universally negative connotation. It's not the same as "fame," where there's critical acclaim behind the object in question, or an infamy of stupidity or whatever reality TV likes to dig into. "Popularity" is more a general statement on what- or more specifically, whom- is held in high esteem. It's negative because it pertains to those kids in school no one likes but everyone respects, almost fearing them in a Machiavellian duality. And it comes into play with the fickle nature of trends, and how often that which is popular changes. But in the fandom, being a popular person (or"popufur" if you like your furry puns everywhere) simply means you are a well-known member, be you an artist, fursuiter, or just good person, that is held in good regard.

The reason I'm going through such a laborious definition is because it's something I've spent a lot of time thinking about. Because, for my entire life- it's all I've really ever wanted to be.

I just want to be liked. It's hardly a complex dream; heck, it's not even lofty. But the majority of my life goals revolve around the idea of a fanbase, or being adored. It's shallow, I know, but it's what keeps me going. Duino is the way I play a lot of my more negative traits off as jokes, but he keeps the deepest one I have: the physiological need to be looked at and noticed.

It was something I always had issue with, since while I'm normally pretty extroverted on a good day and can meet people, the idea of a lasting popularity was fleeting. And then the internet came along and showed me Facebook friends and quantifiable ways to check on the status. Not that I felt friendships were less important; I love all my friends deeply, but have an obsession with making even more, like some kind of weird Katamari Damacy level based around a speed dating service.

So why this somber stuff now? Well, I'm tired and not in my right mind for one. But for another, it's to let you guys know how thankful I am you're all around me. I hit 4,000 pageviews last week and 150 watchers around the same time, and the numbers are still growing fast. I'm amazed at the idea that people are actually seeing me, actually paying attention; it's a dream come true, in a big respect. I know I don't deserve as many comments or favorites as the artists who actually draw Duino, but I read everything posted on their pictures that have me on their accounts and just feel all warm inside when I do.

I've hob-knobbed and become friends with a lot of awesome people here, and after a long time feel like I've found an FA community that I can be a part of. You're all awesome, and thank you for even just acknowledging that I exist. I love all the comments you guys post, the art you've done for me, and every time I get a note or a random Skype add my heart skips a beat in excitement. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with, so thanks for tolerating me, guys. I'm glad to be among friends.