So... Went out to a bar last night with a couple of my great friends... Started out per usual, had a few drinks and such - to the point of getting tipsy. Well there's this gay guy I used to work with who goes there as well, he had a few drinks in him as well. You can probably tell where this is going... So all of us got chalk (from pool) on our hands, started marking one another. I was marked in a couple of choice spots from him... I started marking him too.. Then, heh well ^^;;; I dunno it was fun, it really was.. I realize it's just a few hours later, but I keep thinking about it and I find myself blushing and such. I wouldn't mind doing that again next week, actually... Heck he even gave me a back massage, which made me purr. Thing is, I don't really feel all that guilty for feeling that way - enjoying it I mean. However, I think of doing this again sometime and that's where I start to feel bad... I'm a person who lives in shadows when it comes to this sort of thing, he clearly is not. If I'm content enough to live in these shadows for the sake of the people I love, who am I to drag anyone else into that darkness...? Should I continue to do this light play, or should I stop so I don't potentially hurt us both in the long run? I'm still slightly tipsy and tired at this point, so this journal may just wind up being deleted... But I just want to say, physically I haven't felt this happy in a long time.