My ex set his dinner on fire once and ran around screaming instead of putting a pot lid over it. Thank Dog I was home for that.

Same guy once broke one of those glass-handled doorknobs and bled all over the place before deciding to go out with a friend. Couldn't be arsed to clean it up, leave a note, nothing (I actually still liked him at the time, so coming home to a bathroom that looked like a murder scene kinds sucked).

Paid rent in cash to landlord's daughter once while both landlord and myself were away, did not get receipt like I'd asked. Ofc the rent was mysteriously short that month. Guess out of whose pocket that came from.

Computer and bed in same room. Insisted on playing stupid video games at all hours, keeping me awake. Excuse me, I have a job :I

Put up ugly tattooed naked lady posters in our bedroom but wouldn't let me put up any pretty naked men.

Pretended to gag and throw up whenever asked to clean the cat box.

Went ~6 months without washing his bedsheets (that was partially my fault since I never taught him how to use the washing machine; I left him a few months previously and they stank like shit before I left and they stank even worse when I came back to get my stuff).

I hope exboyfriend stories count as roommate stories >.>

How is that partially your fault? If he can't figure out how to use a washing machine on his own -- at the very least through trial and error -- he's not gonna make it very far in society. Or life. Washing machines are pretty basic stuff.

Pssst, sarcasm :P

I have never in my life met a man more pathetic and dependent than he. He claimed he had some kind of ~inner warrior~ and I guess that somehow prevented him for learning menial womens-work tasks?

OH MY GOD
Sounds like my ex!
Glad we got away from that. Makes me see red just thinking about him!

In a way it was good that I dated him; it taught me exactly what not to look for in a man. I eventually left him for my best friend and took his (my ex's) snake with us, he was pretty mad about that and sent me bitchy emails until we used a copypasta C&D letter on him. Such a mighty warrior, scared by a little legalese, pfft xD

Heh. Reminds me of my roommates freshman year of college. Always complained the dryer never worked... never cleaned the lint trap... "I dunno, guys.. dries my stuff just fine."

My mom always made me do my own laundry, even back in middle school, cause I'd get it sweaty and gross playing hockey and she didn't wanna touch it.

I had a roommate who told me very sincerely that she wished I was dead. it was a rough semester.

if they're really bad, maybe try and find someone to sublet so you can get out before the lease is up. it may not become hilarious but the sooner you get negative people out of your life the better

at some schools if your roomate dies, you get tuition completely paid for

i dont know why i felt like that was relatable to this topic or helpful at all whoops

murder is always the right course of action!

oh my god

a guy came once to do a lecture on student loans, and one of the ways he had on the powerpoint to get out of it was "death"

Thats how I plan on getting out of them

I lived in a "crack house" with 7 other people once. The guy in the basement was a vampire, pale and creepy, never came out during the day. The basement looked like something out of a horror movie. He moved out one day and left everything! Swords, thousand dollars worth of computer equipment, food, furniture a box of douches, all for me to clean up.
We had some other guy move into the basement and he was a dick. He ate all of our food. and made huge messes in the kitchen. The guy who lived in the room next to mine, would pick on my rabbit and scare her, then make awkward comments about his body functions. One night he came home with drunk friends, and one of them shouted at the top of his lungs, he was going shit all over my bathroom.
I had a friend move in, and she hated everyone, and bitched about not having space even though we gave her the largest room.

It was horrible. Never again. My last roommate was all right. She talked to herself, but that's about it.

That's much worse than mine, but much more interesting.
My room mates shout and scream daily though.

Ergh, that's bothersome.

I walked in on our former roommate banging his "not my girlfriend"-girlfriend on my couch with her son in his ( the roommate's) room playing on his computer...Thank doG they were on her clothes is all I can say... I still can't sit on that couch, and it was the perfect napping couch. ;n;

Some of my room mates are like that.
People need to contain themselves, sex can wait jesus christ.

Well I haven't had too many issues with any roommates, but my first year RA shaved his pubes on our toilet the day he got fired and just left them there.

Also, when my brother went to college, some guy destroyed his computer and threatened to cut him ear to ear. After much fuss with the RAs, the kid was moved to a different dorm. My brother didn't do to well afterwards and dropped out. :<

That just sounds like the school sucks then!
Glad your bro got out of there.

My roommate kept running into the screen door at our old complex. The first time it happened she reacted just like a stupid animal and kept running into it for a few seconds out of fear.

When we moved out it was pathetically hanging off the frame. We just kind of looked at each other after the last two days of cleaning up two houses and we were like "close enough."

http://www.hejibits.com/comics/roommate-comics-1/

Me an my current roommate have this plush squirrel that we call The Traveling Squirrel. We play this game and one of us hides the squirrel in a spot where the other roommate will easily see it or come across it, but it must still be hidden. The more creative the hiding place, the better.

Some good hiding places include on top of a ceiling fan blade, in the microwave, laundry hamper, cabinets, in a shoe, in a backpack, etc.

My roommate also was coming home from his girlfriend's house and had a bundle of what looked like laundry in his arms. As he was coming up the front steps, he was about to pass the postman. Just before they passed by each other on the sidewalk, my roommate's sex toy fell out of it's hiding place in his arms.

That was fricking hilarious.