Some say the meaning to life is experience, and others say knowledge is the first step to prevention. Learn from my mistakes kiddies. Wet warming lube does not go in the penis. Some soaps suck to jerk off with. Sex in the shower is fun till someone slips while getting a blow job, and fatal penis injuries occur. Going down on a guy (or gal) is sorta like scuba diving. You still hold your breath, it's still wet, and no matter what you do; you still get some of it up your nose. If you feel like playing with hot wax I'd suggest bee's wax to begin with and not a regular paraffin candle... be sure to hold it much more than just a couple inches over your balls before the wax falls. Just because you think you can fit another penis in there doesn't mean you should. If you have sex in the woods watch out for poison ivy. If you fall asleep in the woods afterwards, cover your tail hole from crawly things that might think it's warm. If you wake up in the middle of the night in the woods and hear banjos, DO NOT curl up in the fetal position. It just encourages them. Jerking off with whiskey gets you drunk and gives you whiskey dick. A chimp's testicles make up for 0.3% of their body weight and an orchidometer looks like anal beads. Bondage is fun, just not in the middle of bank robberies. People tend to miss understand you when your safe word is, "free hugs and candy!"