Things that fell from the flopping, saggy vagina of Hurricane/Superstorm/Clusterfuck Sandy:

1. A strong gust that completely vaporized boardwalks all over the globe.
2. Water or some shit.
3. Sticks.

Things that fell over during Hypercyclone/Murderdiscus/Ultracloud Sandy:

1. Electric logs.
2. Living logs.

Things that were destroyed during the vomity fart ladle floods of Ubercock Sandy:

1. Several Winding Wood rugs.
2. Every boardwalk that wasn't annihilated by "shitty wind."
3. A Corvair.

Benefits of Sloptaint Sandy:

1. I've been out of work all week. Sort of a double-edged sword, really.
2. I got to live out-of-state with a creature I normally live with in-a-state.
3. I got to watch something called a Scurrow dance on a bridge-under-a-bridge (a real thing, oddly enough).
4. I learned to never trust what furries say about road and bridge closures.
5. We all got a taste of what it's gonna be like when our ancient, embarrassing infrastructure completely collapses.
6. If you're reading this, you're a survivor! You did it! You managed to outwit the Frankenstorm of the century!

If the company you work for is still out of power or receiving crappy China-grade power, enjoy your Monday off. Unless you work for a utility company, like PSE&G. In which case, hook up Procedyne Corp. with some right-proper 3 phase so I can get my butt cheeks back to work.