Hi guys..

So... I am going to be moving in with some friends as you may or may not know based on my other journals...


I don't know if I am getting better or worse. On the 7th I had a HUGE fucking melt down. This is copy pasted...but I think you'll get the idea.

(Laz, Rochelle and Laura are my room mates, or at least soon to be roommates and Rachel is the owner of the house but she actually doesn't spend much time living there anymore.)

xxxxxxx

"It wasn't until Tuesday...about 6 pm that I started feeling bad.

My dad had called me and told me that he was worried. That hadn't heard from me in two days and was concerned.
When I hung up with him...I checked the text message I got from my Mom on Monday...It said "If you are not home, your stuff will be in boxes and at the end of the driveway."

Needless to say...That didn't make me feel any better.

Wensday...

Oh god, that was a really crappy day.

My dad called me wondering when I was going to be home and I told him I was going to come home...but I was doing so only to pick up my stuff and that I was moving out that day.
Rachel had already gotten me house keys and everything.
was ready to move in...I knew for sure at that point that's what I wanted to do.

Well...Needless to say I am at my house now...NOT at Rachel's...

My dad was...fine with me moving out but not yet.

When I got home home, Rachel dropped me off, my dad said "It's good to have you home and be prepared... Mom did in fact pack a lot of your stuff in boxes.

I thought I was prepared for it.

I wasn't.

She really did clear out my room.

All the books on my self...Gone. My desk...Empty. The stuff on my Alter...Gone. Some of the art on my wall (including my depressive vent art...dissapered. All the clothes I hadn't already packed up were sitting in a laundry basket. There were no sheets on my bed. No curtains over my window.

I freaked the FUCK out.

...I flipped out so fucking hard you don't even know.

One of the reasons was that I couldn't find my pencil sharpener.

Why?

Well...

Just my undoing one screw...I can take it apart and it has the sharpest blade I own.Sharper then my x-acto and a million times better then any of my pocket knives.

And I couldn't find it.

I gave Laz my x-acto to hold onto until I left...but Rochelle wouldn't give it back to me. (Which just means the next time I go to the store I'll just get a new one)

So I was tearing through some of the boxes to find it....But I couldn't.

I didn't know what else to do...so I literally took off running from my house crying and trying to suppress a scream.

Eventually I tripped and fell in a feild....and just stayed there...

Screaming, crying and yelling my head off.I don't know if I'll have a voice for the next day or so.If nothing else...it'll be very hoarse.

When I can manage to stop screaming I finally FINALLY pick up the courage to call Rochelle, Laz and Laura just to hear them talk. I felt really guilty about it because I know Laz had just bought a new thing of Vodka and they were going to get shitfaced...and I was going to ruin their good mood. The three talk to me in turn. First Rochelle (whom's phone I called) then she handed it off to Laz. But Laura spent the most time talking to me simply because she had pretty much told her parents "BuBye! I don't care what you say, I'm moving out" so she was talking to me and stuff.
Eventually I stop crying so hard, pick myself out of the field and walk my ass home. Got on the computer and started to...well go on facebook, clear my messages and the like.

Then I started unpaking some of the boxes to get things I needed and started to pack up to leave and move in with Rachel."

xxxxxx

...So that was an interesting week...

And the best part was...I didn't cut! The shitty part was...that on Saturday I got new blades...and cut. The really terrible part...is that I keep underestimating my new blades and I've cut myself twice deeper then I tried.

But...I am going to be moving in with my friends once and for all on Wednesday...and knowing Rochelle she'll take all my blades away and force me to stop which will be good for me.

So...Um. Yeah. Just wanted to let you guys know that I am still alive...I know after my last post...It seemed really bad.

Stupid shit I've learned about myself:
1.I learned that I can not be drunk, depressed and alone at the same time. (But drunk and with my friends equals one really fucking happy gryphon. I is a happy and loud drunk apparently, that pounds alcohol quicker then my oldest roommate...xD
2.Never underestimate the sharpness of tiny razors...
3.Addictions suck.
4. Tumblr is the most loving and forgiving places ever....Also one of the most triggering.

I think I have enough dumbassity packed into one journal for now.

So onto the good news! I've been drawing some again. Not much...But it's something right? Both are funny/parodies based on some conversations I've had with friends. So sometime in the -hopefully- not to distant future I should have two more coloured works up.


IMPORTANT NOTE: Just because I don't respond to a comment doesn't mean I didn't read and re-read it. I always do. Sometimes...I just don't have words. <3 Thank you, I do read everything ya'll say.