eh, you know the drill!

Well, I know adrill. One that I'd very much like to introduce you to. He likes to be pet and I'm sure you'll be good friends. Even when- er, ESPECIALLY when he bites. :3

Cat, what's there left to say about you? You break my furniture. You eat my food. You throw my pie. I hate your existence and your company more than I thought I was physically capable of doing, and yet somehow I'm constantly making room for more rage as you break more of my stuff and wear off even more of my patience. Your collar makes you look like a chump and that orange shirt looks like it was stolen from the trash bin in a Salvation Army. Go find a cardboard box to climb in and never leave, since that would both be preferable to spending time with you and and it's also the only object I can think of as being your intellectual equal.

What do I win?

Nothing. You win absolutely nothing. In fact you only lost things. Namely, my respect, and a good chunk of your time. I know nothing about you beyond the fact that you're a fox and that you're blue. Is that your entire persona? "Hi, I'm a fox and I'm blue." RIVETING. There are thousands of red foxes out there smacking their foreheads right now shouting "Why didn't I think of that!?" Nice to see in a fandom where the average character has about as much depth as a piece of paper you saw fit to draw one line on it and call it a day. And why do they call you Cosmo anyway? Enough empty space in your head to fill a galaxy? Or is it just that far to someone who wouldn't think you're an absolutely moron?

Give me your worst! Or best.

Just- stop. No. Hush. Don't talk. No encouragement is necessary and I'm insulted you attempted to give some. I'm the best at being the worst, that's the point behind all this. I descend from on high to take a look at you pathetic lumps of feathers and fur and remind you just how terrible you really are. That being said, why should I even care about you? Congratulations, you're a gryphon- the awkward spawn of a lion and an eagle as well as the child neither parent wants to talk about. You're the third blue freak to comment in a row, which makes me think there's some kind of conspiracy going on here, and it's making me want t burn off all the blue feathers I have since I'm quickly associating the color with unbridled hate. I don't know what gryphons even do but please go do it so I can stop yelling at you. Preferable in the middle of a busy highway.

I knew you wouldn't disappoint.

Yay! Cat fur all over the place!

Indeed. Cat fur everywhere. Add that to the long list of reasons why they're my least favorite species- they shed EVERYWHERE. And you know, you might even edge out a certain blue furball on my annoyance ration, if only for one simple fact: while he's lazier than a sloth hooked on Ambien, you try waaaay too hard. You're so starved for attention if it came in food form you'd be dancing jigs on the street corner with a hat upturned looking for donations. There are more reserved natural disasters when it comes to demanding focus. We get it, you want to be drawn! Sorry to say we can't all have my nature good looks that just flow onto a canvas. Dial it down a few notches, and while you're at it, call your stylist and cancel all your appointments. Obviously what they're doing for your look isn't working at all.

Hits the nail on the head every time; 10/10

I kinda like you sorta or whatever 8D

The feeling isn't mutual. In fact it's the opposite of mutual. I think you're one of the laziest and dumbest sacks of nothing that's ever wormed its way into my path and the only reason I couldn't stomp on it like all the others was because everyone else was lifting it up so high that it was out of reach of my foot. I have no idea why you have such a following or a fan base, though I'm not sure I care, because being the most popular fox is the equivalent of being the biggest moron on the playground. An apt metaphor, I find, seeing as your time ruling is supposed to be when you're doing homework. Run along now, little lady. Maybe when you can see over the counter and speak in full sentences the big kids will talk to you like you're not a complete chump.

...but probably not.

Oooh! People are paying attention to me!

No they aren't.

SHUT UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB

OK, let's get something straight here: "paying attention" is not the same as "making fun of." You see, one is positive, and the other is what's happening now. I recommend walking away from the computer for a few minutes since that's obviously a riddle that'll take your dried-up think pan a while to process.

You with me? Good. Took you long enough.

Blue Guy 2, I really don't know enough about you to tear you a new one. Well, you're blue, and you're a guy... and you're only second best at being blue and a guy. If that's not a testament to your failures in life. And no, I will NEVER say your name as it actually is. It's awkward and stupid and while that may be a perfect representation of yourself I don't want to give you even the slightest semblance of dignity.

I WANNA GO AGAIN! >:D

Really? I don't. Aren't there dudes you should be making out with instead of hanging around here? And I do mean literal, human dudes. Because you like humans and that makes you a sick freak. Gross.

By the way, why is your name "music" of Luie? You don't make music. I'd get it if you were a songbird but your voice could make a howler monkey invest in earplugs. Not that the songs you sing or the things you say make much sense. Or matter at all. Then again, I'm hardly one to judge since I never pay attention to you anyway. Heck, I've already forgotten who I'm insulting here. Though you're all so stupid it just kind of runs together; sad how whoever this is is so bland they can't even make themselves noticeably awful.

Haha! These things are so true! XD This made me laugh! Thanks a bunch, Duino! :)

Do only thing I EVER win are free insults and pain. >_<

There's a reason for that, Omega. It's because you're unlikable. You're blue, the color worn by those who decide that their life goal is the ruination of others' happiness, a mammal, the type of creature that this site is filled to the brim in the same manner a grandmother's house is filled with brick-a-brac, and worst of all, you fancy yourself some kind of "super genius" when you're still unable to wrap your head simple concepts like "gravity exists" and "gravity hurts a lot." You've got an ego the size of mine, but unlike me have done nothing to earn it. You're vile, disgusting, and probably hungry. I could go on but life has insulted you far worse than I have with that face, tail, paws, personality, intelligence, and... well, you know the rest.

I am a TOTTDURR

I have no idea what that is. It's not like I care; I spent a few minutes trying to make that into an initialism for something nasty but decided it wasn't worth my time to be creative. It's worth noting you added me to your Watch List and then commented on this journal, and I have no idea who you are or where you came from, so I have no choice but to believe you sought someone out to be nasty toward you and I became your Holy Grail. Well, congratulations, here you go: you appear, even at a glance, to be a moron lacking in even the most basic of polite social parlance. Your presence is unwarranted and frankly extremely unwelcome, and your avatar gives me motion sickness. At least give me a name to work with next time; I prefer channeling my rage into a target rather than some putrid mass of awful with borders as vague as a beige painting on a beige wall. Not that I can be proven you're not a putrid mass of awful, it just gives me more to go on.

Totally worth it

I know very little about mammals, since I approach the idea of learning about them with the same excitement I would in learning Calculus or the proper maintenance of a sewage treatment plant: abysmal. It'd be long, boring, smelly, and ultimately useless since I hate the subject matter. But, there is one thing I've seemed to learn, and that's that "*wags*" is RP-speak for "I'm happy! Come play with me and throw balls into grass!" If this fact is true, then you're about as thick as a medievalist's lecture on St. Augustine's rationalization of Platonic philosophy into Christian morality. No one should be happy to be here- I'm certainly not. You can't honestly think you'd gain pleasure from hearing how ugly your fur color is, or that your avatar gives me the willies because that cold stare is conducive to reenacting the plot of a movie that I don't think I was allowed to watch. Please, check your emotions, and for the sake of yourself and the people who tolerate your existence, get some sense in your head.

Insult me.

How dare you. How DARE you, you insignificant mix of pond scum and toad spittle! How dare you have the absolute gall to comment on every single one of my journals with the relevance of the following statement! Hinger dooger flagger electromagnet. I know absolutely NOTHING about you except that I have every part of you, from the "crazy" to the "wolf" to the "45." There is nothing- NOTHING- more I can say to you because you have no personality to work with. It's like holding a conversation with a cardboard cutout, save the bits that are interesting. You make me want to bang my head against a wall in search of stimulation, you selfish load of garbage.

Eh...

All I know about you is that you drink. A lot. We've been in streams together, been in the same Skype call, and I'm pretty sure you listed me as a potential donor for when your liver shuts down next month. If that's the only detail I can garter despite so much interaction, it either means I have the perception of a blind amputee (which is impossible because I'm flawless), or you have a character as deep and complex as the glass of the beer bottle you've got resting next to the device you're using to read this right now. Honestly, it's not even subtle. I can hear your slurring from across the country and it's no funnier nor any more relevant. You and the local frat furs have a good time drinking yourself silly. Maybe one of you will bang your head hard enough from falling over yourselves to jump-start the 'ol think pan for the first time in years.

Bwahahaha

You're so cute when you're insulting people.

See, there's an issue with your statement: I'm always cute. I don't have to be insulting people to show it. Then again, it's not like you're an authority on the subject. There are cuter lepers with bad acne. I have a notorious hatred for mammals, and as a mouse all I can discern is you've taken a big annoyance and reduced it to a size that can fit in one's pocket. A stupid prospect, both in that a). I'd never want to take you anywhere but the exterminator's, and b). reducing the size of something I hate doesn't make me hate it less. If anything it makes me more upset since it becomes a much harder target to hit with the heavy objects I want to throw at it. And the double squeaks from your mouth and the rubber thighs rubbing together is a migraine-inducer, as well. Why don't you go try that bed of nails trick and save us all a lot of frustration?

*Sniffles and tears up* Oh yeah? Well I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you! BAM!

Awww, you must want a hug from me <3

I'm going to omit the Aura insults because he didn't comment on this journal and saying he was you is the mightiest insult I could have hefted at him. So I'll save that for another day and focus on something else. Though there's so much to choose from! Perhaps your dysfunctional relationship with a mouse and bat, both people I hate but whom have a significantly larger degree of originality than you based solely on species choice? Maybe the irony that for a fox named after a phenomenon of light effects isn't very bright? Or how about your illiteracy, considering you obviously couldn't read the restraining order I filed against you? I feel like a duck in a bakery... you're terrible in every way, Aurora. Kindly go stand in front of a hunter's sights.

L,JGVFDXSZA :V

That's the smartest thing I've heard you say. I haven't heard you speak much, and I thank my lucky stars for that, but I'm guessing that isn't a rabbit hole that goes terribly deep. I appreciate how appropriate your name it, however- a lot like flossing you're cumbersome and no one enjoys dealing with you. Though at least real flossing has a healthy benefit- any time spent with you would drive me closer to checking myself into the looney bin. Work on your elocution, sweetie, I can barely understand a word you're saying. Not that I'd want to, but the other babbling idiots could always use another dim bulb on their idiotic Christmas tree.

OH XD I'M SMARTER THAN YOU C:

Here are the facts I know bum x3-

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.



The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

I am rubber, you're a duck.
Bounces off me, cos I don't give a-

LOL! Epic.

Hey, Saddle-boy, don't you have a poor, defenseless turkey to be riding into the sunset? Get outta here!

So you're a seagull named Gullible. Oh, well, isn't that cute. Not only did you go for the most obvious pun in the book but you have the nerve to be proud of it. Though I can't argue that the name isn't fitting- you did comment on this journal, after all. Oh, and was that little rhyme supposed to be funny? Lord, you have a more twisted definition of comedy than a dictionary folded into a Slinky. You're pink and look like you've been freshly plucked clean, which disgusts me, and in addition look happy about it, which disgusts me even more. In the future, please refrain from looking at me, talking to me, being near me in any way, or existing in general. After all, I deserve to be happy.

man I read this and kinda thought "oh so now a colored seagull WANTS to be put down?" fatty-feathers.

You DO realize that your threats are as hollow as your stomach when you're doing your old "inflate-a-roo" bit, don't you? Which is all the time, come to think of it. You pretend to hate that too, don't you? Boy, you're about as transparent as the rubber they use to make those things. Admit it, Unit, you've got a real soft-spot for it. And that spot is presently located in your head, because you're also about as bright as a wet match. Take a few classes and lose some weight, and maybe you won't be so darn hard to be around. Oh, and sitting on people is NOT a valid form of communication. Cut that out right now.

hey man. shut your noise-hole. you know insults are hard :c

It's no use!

You're still just a farty beak'd whoopie cushion to me.

DUCK!!!

I hope I have another insult to add to my collection

Squeaks upon thee sir.

who cares...i get enough of it from freinds.

Belittling beagle says "Boo"

Please do me a favor. Before you say any insults, first pretend that I'm some dick that moved into YOUR house, tells YOU what to do, leaves his shit all over your bathroom, eats all of your food, then starts talking all kinds of nasty belittling shit to your girlfriend, threatens to punching her in the face and call someone to come 'take care' of her, then calls YOUR mother to come reprimand you.
Pretend I'm that, THEN give me all you've got.

Yay! They're free this time! 8D

Woo! Wish I'd seen this earlier! I need some insultification in my boring life.