The problem with weekends is some of them are never long enough. Then your girl leaves you alist a mile long. Mine called her's the Honey Do list. Well, I didn't know what that meant so I went out and bought a bunch of honeydew.

She got mad and asked me how much they cost . I said about $30. She called me a pig and asked if this was subliminal. I said no it's melancholy. I paid more for her melons down at the club and hers were way too ripe.


...What the fuck am I writing... THAT JOKE'S NOT FUNNY! no one got hurt. So you know what is? An epileptic doing the jitter bug. Don't Scoff! You're supposed to laugh! It's funny when it happens to someone else. Besides this guy obviously has a mild form of retard in him and laughter is the best medicine. We laugh at your sickness to cure you epileptic guy. You should thank us.


I'm done pretending for the night... you're penis IS larger than mine.