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I never do this...
13 years ago
General
Actually using a journal like a journal...
My emotions are all out of whack. I love and hate this time of year. I love thanksgiving and christmas because people are so happy and it's great to be around friends and family. However, I hate this time of year because I loathe what Christmas has become. It's about friends and family, not presents, people seem to forget about that.
And then holiday movies, I can't sit and watch them. Ever. I don't get emotional about movies, I get emotional about how I'll never have anything close to it. Some days I feel as though I'm meant to be alone, when in fact, I know I'm not. It's just nothing good could ever happen to me in a relationship. It's always been the same.
Ya know, ya try so hard to not fall for someone, yet of course you do. I just can't win. I thought I had found someone, but of course shit happened, I'm still uncertain about what did happen. Then there's the one's we never get over. I doubt I ever will get over you, I'm pretty certain you'll read this, but nothing will happen because of it. Oh well. You'll always be my closest bud.
My emotions are all out of whack. I love and hate this time of year. I love thanksgiving and christmas because people are so happy and it's great to be around friends and family. However, I hate this time of year because I loathe what Christmas has become. It's about friends and family, not presents, people seem to forget about that.
And then holiday movies, I can't sit and watch them. Ever. I don't get emotional about movies, I get emotional about how I'll never have anything close to it. Some days I feel as though I'm meant to be alone, when in fact, I know I'm not. It's just nothing good could ever happen to me in a relationship. It's always been the same.
Ya know, ya try so hard to not fall for someone, yet of course you do. I just can't win. I thought I had found someone, but of course shit happened, I'm still uncertain about what did happen. Then there's the one's we never get over. I doubt I ever will get over you, I'm pretty certain you'll read this, but nothing will happen because of it. Oh well. You'll always be my closest bud.
It's a difficult feeling to shake off, when you feel like you're just not worth the time and effort when it comes to getting that close to someone. But I still believe it's just a matter of taking the proper time and energy to heal up all wounds, and just try again when you're ready, and with confidence this time.