I wish things were better.....I can never find the means to help my family in any way. I just feel so desperately depressed...The unending torment of unfulfillment has peaked around the doorway of my soul. All I have done for the past two years is wait for opportunities.....I need to take charge and try to change things. I know that none of you know me....but if you did you would see....you would see that i am a happy person that tries...I just want to find something to help out.....I am not a religious person so that faith is not getting me anywhere. I have tried just being positive but i am constantly reminded......I am lucky to even have the computer i am using. It was a christmas present last year. I have been unable to do anything for christmas for my family ever. Just sad to see that I am hopeless....