Well,

I can't really comment on writing, because I don't involve myself enough in that field to give any sort of authoritative opinion. However, my experience in art has taught me that nothing is ever easy. In fact, it gets harder as your technique becomes more advanced. Furthermore, when you know more, you know of more things that you can judge. You see them in your work and they are like some puckering ulcer, that you don't really know how to fix. It is almost always some tiresome struggle that, after a period of deliberation and faffing about, something interesting eventually comes out and you become comfortable enough to just 'work on it.' In fact, there have been (and often are still) many times where I simply want to do away with art altogether, because I see it as a totally useless thing -- 'why don't I spend my drawing time practicing mathematics or something?'

I think that talent is an unbelievably rare thing. Almost all of this creative stuff that people do; art, writing, music, is just a skill. It's like digging a hole. Those few people with talent were born with shovels, but everyone else is just there, digging away with their hands. But that's the thing about it. If you realise you're digging in the wrong direction, you change it, and start digging in a new direction. Skill is the same thing. If you feel like what you are doing is wrong, then you are able to work on developing yourself in a different way. Since you care about it, that's all you need to make those changes. If you don't ever feel like doing something, then it means that you don't care about it, and you shouldn't bother with it.

Also, you're awesome. Everybody else thinks it as well. Don't you detect how people just naturally gravitate towards you? I mean, look at me; I just put up some showy and admittedly juvenile display of pseudo-superiority that, rather luckily, most people humour. But you don't need to do that, just because you are a generally likeable person. Obviously, I don't know you on a personal level, and so I can't accurately judge your personality as it really is. However, from my time communicating with you, and the way you present yourself in an online medium, I think you are pretty cool, and that's not such a bad thing, is it?

Er, I... may have written more than you did. I also hope this turned out mostly relevant. I'd look silly if it wasn't.

I do detect that gravitation. As I take down my barriers, it becomes an increasingly discouraging force though.

It is not a bad thing. For as hell-bent I am seeing myself as a lost cause, you remind me otherwise and so I thank you.

I have no idea how I missed this journal and I realize this is probably (forever too late and I blame it on my inherent incompetence at times) but you do realize that you have talent and a like-ability, right? Your style is arguably one of the most robust and invigorating I have ever seen and I have found myself to be utterly amazed at times (and even envious). You can't think about it so subjectively and let it ride out your self worth or even how you feel about yourself-- stagnate.

I have made these mistakes many times over, feel so bad about what I do that it gets in the way in what I do and then I feel worse. Letting the sense of inadequacy and worthlessness take complete hold of you is the worst thing you could do. You just have to try to look at it in the way that there is room for improvement and even the slightest change is progress. Comparison isn't always the best because everyone draws so differently it isn't funny and you end up giving yourself less credit over all. Art is expression and any experimentation is progress; never let yourself feel like you do not have something special, because that is an utter lie.

Anyone can draw, but only people who have versatility and adaptability can take it to the next level and those are things you unquestionably have. I have told you before that you have something unique, and your writing is definitely above most, along with your vernacular (I certainly enjoy it, even if it goes over my head at times).

I do know what I am capable of. The problem is, it feels like a fluke. Riding out is what led me to realize I hug a bankruptcy in achievement when I actually do manage to show anything I've made; yet people praise what I do and I absolutely cannot conceptualize why. If I'm perfect and nobody would want a single thing to change, then I'm royally fucked. Since that's obviously not true, it's led me to think I really am troubled beyond a single attempt to deal with it. It's -really- hard to ignore my track record of failure; I have no drive to move forward, but i'ts supposed to be this obvious duh option. That's supposed to be encouraging ???

It's more encouraging than doing nothing so I said fine, I'll accept that all roads lead to dread. I was told that was an unacceptable outlook. I can't think of anything more stressful.

Comparison is the worst, but it's a very hard habit to break.

Your input is greatly appreciated.

I wanna mention some people say the most important thing in art is improvement, but I believe the most important thing is loving yourself and what comes from yourself, which includes your art, of course. I'm not the kind of person who can always detect confidence in the artist by merely looking at a piece, but I guarantee it always helps. If you want, take time off drawing until you begin to process who you are, what art means to you, and why you do it. Observe the world around you and gain understanding. Then, when you feel you are ready, you can return to your craft a stronger person overall.

Just do what feels right, and I wish you the best of luck.

Ah, basically, I believe a unity between oneself and the rest of the world is one of the most vital things to have. And love is the strongest way of making a connection--understanding of both oneself and the world around you. In art, having an understanding of your world prevents oneself from having inaccurate anatomy and lighting and so on, and understanding yourself breathes life into the piece. It also becomes enjoyable to draw, and it becomes easier to share it with others.

lmao by oneself I mean ... the art you make ... but ... yea

Everything I do seems hollow to me. When I focus and do actually do something measurable, it feels like an act or farce, and that I am struggling to do something that is so simple and second nature to others (believable characters derived from rich experiences with people and how things work in the real world, something i lack and have difficulty grasping.). Signs point to depression if not my stubbornness to accept I achieved something nor realizing everyone is learning and nobody is perfect. It seems difficult to soak in the world and become what I write instead of forcing out my meager ability and crying out to the heavens what am I fighting for, in fact I get unreasonably angry and frustrated with accomplishments of others that any sane person would shrug and carry on.

It's seldom but not never I wholly accept my accomplishments and failures, and be happy for them. It's also seldom if ever I feel strong about who I am as a person.

I thank you for your encouragement.

I was wondering if you were or had struggled with depression, which was a big reason I suggested learning to love oneself. I hope you don't feel too much of a sense of urgency to do anything, whether it be art or questing or even taking the steps to help these problems in the first place. It's more important that you take time to relax and not worry about getting on your feet again. It will happen, regardless of whether you do it yourself or through the help of others. And there's no shame in the latter--working with others is very much a human experience. Anyway, I hope some of this helps somehow, and if not, I hope you come upon a person or thing that does shed some light.

whoops, posted this as a comment rather than a reply, w/e

We still need to make that mini-comic and I can keep making gross amount of fanart for you.

EDIT: We still need to make that mini-comic and as long as I can keep making gross amount of fanart for you I'm fine.

Also remember some of us may or may not use other artists' work for inspiration and you may or may not be one of those.

Maybe.